Sam's thought of the day

Who I'm Feelin Right Now

2006-03-01T20:29:00.000-08:00

What's good people's,

Yes yes yes, it's an update twice in less than a week. I'm working myself back into blogging shape. But for real for real make sure you check back tomorrow nigt cause BET is dropping that new season of College Hill so trust I will have something to say. But for tonight, I was chillin out listening to music and I notices something. Just about all of the songs I have downloaded in the past month have had Mike Jones, who... MIKE JONES in them..... I said, Just about all of the songs I have downloaded in the past month have had Mike Jones in them, Sorry couldn't resist, I love when he does that. I mean the Remix of "Fresh azimiz" with Bow Wow, he killed it, Mike Jones and Busta Rhymes, I'm prolly gonna buy the album off of that song, Twista and Mike Jones, If I had a Cadillac I would definately bump "Bump this in yo Cadilac" in it. Ohh and last but not least, the remix of "Naked" with Marques Houston, has just jumped up to the top of my jump off playlist.
I mean you gotta love this dude, he drops his cell phone number in his songs, 281 330 8004, that's hot. I mean he ain't no fake celebrity doing things like getting thier sidekick "hacked" or having a sex tape "leaked" nah Mike Jones wanted his name in the public so what did he do - He dropped his cell phone number in 2 of his songs, "Bump this in yo Cadilac" and "Back Then" ........ I SAID - he ain't no fake celebrity doing things like getting thier sidekick "hacked" or having a sex tape "leaked" nah Mike Jones wanted his name in the public so what did he do - He dropped his cell phone number in 2 of his songs, "Bump this in yo Cadilac" and "Back Then" - sorry I couldn't resist myself it's just tight when he does that. Well I'm fittin to go lay it down, I gots to get on my work grind tomorrow morning. Holla at ya boy, and def come back tomorrow night to see what I said about college hill on - The thought of the day by who? Big Sam Who? BIG SAM!!!!!(Sorry I like when he does that too)

Uno

P.S. Like I said above Most of the songs I've downloaded have had Mike Jones. But is it just me or is it ironic that I'm litening to the one song that I downloaded without him in it while writing this blog - Kelly Clarkson "Because of You" - I don't know, I gotta sleep on that, who knows she might drop a remix to that song with who on it? Mike Jones who MIKE JONES!!!!!!!(I can see this is gonna be a hard habit to break)

Thank you

2006-02-26T20:23:00.000-08:00

What's good ya'll,

Sorry for the delay but my computer chair broke and I had to wait to get a new one before I could really sit down and get my think on. So today I was chillin watching tv, you know just kickin it on a Sunday afternoon. And what did your boy see? Flavor of Love. These women are crazy. They really catching feelings over Flava Flav. But you know what they say, Don't hate the playa hate the game. But yo I gotta admit, watching Flava Flav do anything is good television. Same goes for Bobby Brown. And speaking about Mr. Brown, Being Bobby Brown is the the best show ever. It's bought so much to us. So now I'm going to list the top 5 things Being Bobby Brown has done for us:

5. A coalition of people who want to get Bobbi-Kristina a decent perm.
4. The theme song to "Being Bobby Brown"
3. 4 words - "Hell to the naw"
2. Confirming all of our suspicions,
1. and showing us that Bobby is the least crazy half of Bobby and Whitney

Well that's it for today my peoples. I have to go to work tomorrow. It feels good to say that. No more going to the coin star to get enough money to keep my lights on for me. Working life is being good to me and I think I'm starting to enjoy it. Well I'm fittin to lay it down, Holla at your boy.

Uno

Get Your Game Tight Homey

2006-01-22T13:59:00.000-08:00

What's good my peoples,

I know it's been a minute but your boy's been on da grind. With the holidays and everything plus having to find a new place and then moving to that new place add to that starting my new job, that's right your boy ain't gonna be no Kayne West Skit, I've had alot on my plate. But now that things are settled I can get back to making my blog "Do What it Do", I love that saying, I thought i would just say that, So now that that's done on to today's blog.

Has anyone heard that singer T-Pain? He's the guy that song that 'I'm Sprung' song and now he has a song out called 'I'm in love with a Stripper'. I just have this to say to him, STEP YOUR GAME UP HOMEY!!!!!!!!! You on the radio whining and crying talkin bout "Got me doin the dishes anything for her kisses" and "Got me cuttin off my homies" Nigga please. You ain't sprung you whipped. Man up son!!!! If you keep letting her push you around like that she ain't gonna love you cause you can't love someone you don't respect.

Now you on the radio talking about I'm in love with a stripper. You can't be fallin in love with no stripper in the club, while she workin. That's part of the game homey, to get you to fallin love and then snatch up your cheddar. Don't get me wrong there's plenty of strippers I have love for i.e. Peaches from Fantasy show bar, Peaches from that club in Atlanta, Trixie from Fanatsy show bar, that one girl from the vip section from that club in philly, Mundae from Fancy Cats, and Tiger from Booby Trap. but i didn't fall in love with them. Don't get me wrong if you meet a girl and you find out she's a stripper it's cool to fall in love but you can't do it in the club, that's how you come out with a $2,000 overdraft on your debit card. Well I'm fittin to go and watch some football but I promise I'll start updating more frequently.
Holla at ya boy,

Little Known Facts

2005-12-12T23:10:00.000-08:00

What's good my peoples,

I'm chillin. I was sitting around today and a thought hit me, the root of racism is ignorance. And what's the cure of ignorance? Knowledge. So as not only a thinker but a teacher I've decided to share some little known facts about my race, African Americans. So here it goes:

1. If it isn't theirs or on leash black people are scared of dogs. Very scared. Very very scared. I think the reason for this has something to do with the 60s.

2. Stepping on a black persons brand new pair of white shoes is sort of like breaking a mirror, but instead of 7 years of bad luck it's 7 minutes of an ass whoopin.

3. Not all black people have rhythm. I know it's hard to believe but it's true. These rare and unfortunate folks are forced to sit out of all Cha-Cha and Electric slides at all family functions due to limit the amount of real life proof of the previous fact.

4. When NWA said "Fuck the Police" they were basically speaking for an entire race. Again I think this has something to do with the 60s.

5. A lot of black people cannot swim. I mean this should be common sense.Think about it if we could chances are we wouldn't be here.

6. Most black males aren't nearly as angry as they look in public. We just look that way so that white people won't bother us and they will apologize for doing absolutely nothing.

7. "You're not White" is a vaild argument for not skydiving, white water rafting, calling your parents by thier first name, messing with wild animals, and other things deemed completely crazy.

8. Black Church services are more than capable of competing with the entertainment and production costs of an Ushger Concert, and you might even see better dancing too.

9. We all know OJ did it, we're just not going to admit it in public for 2 reasons 1. White people have been killing black people and getting away with it for years and 2. He was paying her like $20,000 a month in alimony. I mean come on people he hadn't seen a football field in years and yeah Naked Gun was funny but it wasn't that damn funny.

10. If you cannot complete the phrase "Say it, and Say it Loud" you are eligible to have your black people status revolked.

Well that's it for today. Please feel free if you have any more facts or if you have facts about your people if you're of different descent. Because education and comedy is the way to co-existence. Well I'm out, Holla at ya boy.

Uno

Sucks to see a Legend Go

2005-12-11T23:09:00.000-08:00

Yo what's good ya'll,

So if you haven't heard yet Richard Pryor died this weekend on Saturday morning. True he hasn't done anything in a while due to his MS but it still sucks when a legend and a pioneer passes away. Richard Pryor came onto the scene with a "This is me, and I'm gonna say and do whatever I want" approach. He single handedly changed the whole stand up game and paved the way for the Eddie Murphys, Chris Rocks, and Dave Chappelles. In my life my dad has always taught me to not be afraid to open my mouth, Richard Pryor taught me not to be afraid to say what I really feel, no matter to who I'm saying it to. I can still see myself as a little kid sneaking his album onto my parents record player when they were at work or watching his 'Live on Sunset Strip Tape' late at night when everyone else was asleep. Without Richard Pryor I wouldn't be as funny as people say I am. He showed me how to take insecurites and pain and make them funny, how to cut the bitterness of racism with a laugh, and how to use the word 'muthafucker' and all of its tenses with pinpoint precision. With no Richard Pryor there would be no Sam's Daily Thought.

So here's to you Rich, I know you're up there bringing down the house.

Uno

It Can't Just be Us!!!

2005-11-20T22:55:00.000-08:00

Yo,

What's good my peoples? I know I've been away for alittle bit of time but I'm back. Sorry I've been gone for so long but with graduation coming up and me still not having found a job I'm a little scared that I may become that dude from the Kayne West album - (Yeah he just kept going to school and getting degree after degree and he never got a job, that's why we're living in a cardboard box now. But we can burn all of the degrees he has to keep us warm. That parchment burns good) But now I'm not stressing anymore. I came to the conclusion that my parents couch is comfortable enough and I think I'm cute enough and have enough game to still pull women even if I'm unemployed and living with my parents sleeping on the couch. So now that that is out of the way on to today's topic.

Last week I was watching this new show on Cartoon Network called 'The Boondocks' this is a cartoon based on the comics in the newspapers. Or if you're like me and you don't read the newspaper you can check them out here - www.ucomics.com/boondocks. So I was watching this show and the main character opened the show like this - "Black People have known for hundreds of years that niggas are crazy. But we don't like to talk about crazy niggas in public cause White people may be listening, but I think the secret may be getting out."

After hearing this I started thinking. I thought and I thought and then ................. I went to sleep. After I woke up I thought, "I don't feel like going to work today." And then I promptly called out with what I like to call the mysterious stomach thing that hit me last night. But then tonight I started thinking about it again. But this time it hit me - "We can't be the only ethnicity that has members that embarass the hell out of us." Like when I watch 'Just Being Bobby Brown' and want to jump through the television and shake the hell out of Bobby and Whitney and yell at them, "Stop your shit!!!!!!!!!! Just stop it!!!!!!!! Go sit your asses down somewhere you're embarassing the hell out of us and setting us back years with every episode!!!!", I know for a fact that white people want to do the same thing to the cousin dating, mayonaisse sandwich eating, confederate flag flyin hillbilles. Or maybe Jewish people want to do it to their extremely cheap bothers and sisters. Or maybe Hispanic people see thier people riding one hundred and twenty two to one truck and want yell out "Voluntad usted parada de los idiotas que hace eso." So my post tonight really isn't a statement about the way I see the world but more like a question to my readers, What do members of your ethnicity do that embarass the rest of your people and are there any famous people out there that display this?

Let me know because I am very suspicious that every ethnicity has thier own "niggas" and that we are not the only ones who have a Bobby and Whitney.

Holla at me later my peoples.

Uno

Big Sam's Stamp of Approval

2005-10-10T22:54:00.000-07:00

Yo what's good my peoples,

Today I saw a new feature for the blogger that I felt would increase the quality of my blog. For now on if you want to post a comment you have to verify dome random characters. This will cut down on the spamming that's been going on in the last couple of blogs. Cause for real for real I was gettin tired of that shit. How you gonna post some site about buying Louis Vuitton handbags on my site when I still have to buy my Louis from crackheads at 3 o' clock in the morning, check out the Laundry Night Post to see what I'm talkin about, no one is going to use my site to sell anything with out me getting a cut or a kickback of some sort. And speaking of that wallet, I'm still accepting applications for the wallet, contact me for an application. Please be advised included with the application I will need last years W-2 form, college transcripts, social security or green card, a completed physical, drivers liscence and vehical registration in your name, and at least 2 references from former boyfriends and or jumpoffs...... oh yeah I almost forgot location, occupation, and any jail records of your most recent ex-boyfriend or jumpoff. Hey us successful, childless, educated, african american men are endangered species, we need to be protected better than spotted owls and bald eagles

Now on to today's blog, I was driving to North Miami today and I was banging the Ying Yang Twins album United States of Atlanta. I can definately tell you that this jaun is a backseat banger. It's definately one of those albums you can bang on long trips, while driving really fast, that makes your mirrors shake. This is a really good album. I think ya'll should get it. You know it's a good album when you pull up to the light blasting it and you see other people in other cars nodding thier heads to your music. Now I don't care how you get it, you can download it from some music sharing site, for those who know they can download it from me, buy it, burn it, and for the adventurous they can steal it, you would be surprised how effective a magnet and a big coat, baggy jeans, or big purse can be, but you should definately get it.

I do have one problem with the album though. Actually it's a personal problem, sometimes I suffer from random bouts of morality and sometimes I feel wrong about driving into a school parking lot, pulling up next to old people at the light, or going by churches on a sunday afternoon when they're getting out banging the 'whisper song' or 'pull my hair' so I have to turn it down. It's a small personal problem, but a problem none the less.

Well that's enough for today, I'm fittin to go lay it down for the night, holla at ya boy.

One
Uno - (for our spanish speaking audience)
Um - (for our portugese speaking audience)
Ein - (for the german speaking folks out there)
Un - (for my french speaking peoples)
Moja - (for my peoples speaking Swahili)

Gotta Love that Laffy Taffy

2005-10-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

Yo what's good ya'll,

I'm chillin, I'm chillin. So I was sitting home sick last week and I saw an interesting video. The video was called laffy taffy. Some of ya'll out there might have heard it, it goes "Shake that Laffy Taffy, Shake that Laffy Taffy Girl!!!!!!" Seeing this video brought back a memory of when my friend asked me what they meant and I told her it was booty. She then asked me why would you want it to shake. I've been thinking long and hard about this question. I've watched numerous hours of BET to find the answer to this question, and I finally came up with it. It's just one of those things you like and can't explain , sort of like a parfait. I mean like Eddie Murphy said in Shrek, everyone likes parfait, think about it when was the last time you turned down a parfait. So booty shaking is the same way. When you see it in the club you don't not like it, you're like "Wow!!!!!! She's hot!" Well that's my opinion on it, I'm more than open to anyone else's opinion on this matter. Holla at ya boy.

P.S.

Since these laffy taffy guys got a record deal and there seems to be a bunch of other people getting deals too I decided I was going to come up with my own song called "Girl You gotta Star Jones". When I finish with it I'll post it here so ya'll can tell me how tight it is. But until then here's a little sample of it -

Girl u gotta Star Jones/ Girl u gotta star jones/ so let a playa know what's goin on
girl u gotta a star jones/ let me know what's goin on / in dem shorts u lookin good/ tryna get wit u when i'm in ur hood/ I'm sayin girl u hella thick/ booty fatter than oprah in 86
Girl u gotta Star Jones/ Girl u gotta star jones/ so let a playa know what's goin on

BET Strikes Again

2005-09-26T21:17:00.000-07:00

Yo what's good ya'll,

I've been chilling, I would like to say the reason that I have fallen behind is because of the heavy workload of my classes, but that would be a bold face lie. The real reason for the slacking is the first three words of this paragraph.

Ok so now on to buisness, the BET comedy awards are tomorrow at 9. The advertising for these awards has been - "The BET Comedy Awards. The funniest show on tv. So pay your cable bill." Now as a non-punctual bill payer I am offended by this. Actually this ranks up there for things that BET has done that offended me. I mean not as bad as The Parkers weekend marathon, but definately worse than Prison Song and the TipDrill video. I feel that this makes us non-punctual billpayers look flaky, irresponsible and undependable. I mean would an undependable person have a blog they update on a daily bas............... ummmm, uhhhh never mind that, Let's just say it's not right and I'm calling on my fellow non-punctual billpayers to boycott this.

Well I'm out, Let me know what ya'll think. Holla at ya boy

Uno

Diary of a Mad Black Man

2005-09-14T22:33:00.000-07:00

What's good ya'll?

First things first, dontate what ever you can to the relief funds. People need help and every little bit can help someone.

Now that I've done the charitable thing now on to today's blog: I know it's been a minute but............

ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!

My name is SAM!!! S to the A M/ back to spittin my opinion again.

Things that have been making me mad:

1. North Miami - I went out there last night to get a haircut and I banged my tire on maaaaaaaaddddddddddd potholes. How the hell do you have potholes on freshly paved streets, what did you keep them there for historical reasons like "This Pothole here is where Trick Daddy banged out his first 20 inch rim" C'mon ya'll handle this please, cause if i drove something better than what I'm driving now and I banged my car out on one of these potholes on freshly paved streets I would call out of work and go to the North Miami government building and slap the person in charge of highways myself.

2. The person who posted to my last blog - Ya'll need to stop this, if you really feeling the blog cool, holla at ya boy, but don't just holla at me to get me to look at your get rich quick investing blog. C'mon now, ya'll read what I've been writing, if you really read what I wrote and felt it what the hell makes you think I would give a real damn about the timber industry. This is Big Sam's Daily thought, not Paul Bunyan's keep that shit to ya'self homey.

3. The guy at blockbuster who asks if the movie I asked about is a real movie - C'mon dog this is a yes or no question, go to the computer and check the database to see if 'The Mack' is there. I don't need you to do that dumb ass laugh and say "Is that really a movie, I've never heard of it" No, it's not a real movie. I just go around to various blockbusters asking for movie's I've made up on the way there. I should have known better than to try and pull it over on you, cause you have obviously seen every movie ever in existence. My bad for trying to "Punk" you.

and talking about being "Punk'd"

4. Ashton Kutcher - Why is it everytime you "Punk" black people it involves the police. You we and the police have more problems than Bobby and Whitney. How bout this" Why don't I come to your house with some of the people who live on my block, we hold you over your balcony Suge Knight style, then we take pictures, laugh at you, and put it on the 10 spot.

5. Tony Yayo - maybe it's because I haven't heard to much, but I ain't really feelin anything he's put out so far. And is it just me or does he look like someone's old drunk ass uncle at a bbq in videos and at the Mtv awards. Right now he's one of those people that if I saw him on one of those missing people flyers you get in the mail, I'd hope he stay that way.

6. The media - There's been hella racism in the coverage of the looting in New Orleans. Black people are 'looting' while White people are 'finding' c'mon ya'll it's getting ridiculuous, White people haven't 'found' this much shit since 1492. I mean damn if these people are so good at finding stuff why didn't we send them to Aruba. Oh and don't get it twisted. I'm sure there's just as many White people in footlocker and radio shack stealing sneakers and tvs as black people, but I guess white people looting makes for worse tv than missing black people.

Whew!!!!!!! It felt good to get that out. I'm going to try to start getting back to this more often.

Holla at ya boy,

Unless you trying to get me to invest in the timber industry, then keep that to yourself like coodies.

I'm out,

Uno

I ain't no Damn Punk

2005-08-22T23:42:00.000-07:00

What's good ya'll?

I was chilling today and a friend of mine sent me this intersting article about blogs. In this article it said that there have been a number of people fired from thier jobs for what they put in thier blogs. First off these people were dumb enough to put work related things in thier blog. Why would you do that? And why would you talk about co-workers in your blog? That's just dumb. Keep your work life seperate homies.

But to my fans out there don't be discouraged. I will not back down cause I am a super believer in the First Amendment. Ahhhhh, the First Amendment, a security blanket for us folks who like to talk trash. Another reason I will not be deterred is that I will not talk about anything that goes on at work. For ya'll knowledge I'm an unemployed college student who just sits around all day watching reality tv and keeping up with pop culture so I can bring my opinion to the masses. And if I did have a job and my co workers did happen to read this, I wouldn't be dumb enough to write anything about them. I would save that for phone calls to my peoples, after 9 pm cause those day time minutes are almost as bad as gas. And speaking of which, I know I may not be politically savvy but how the hell do we take over a country loaded with oil and gas goes up? I know I'm not an economist but this shit don't make sense like a second season of Chaotic. But here's something to think about - Oil tycoon becomes president, gas goes up. As my dear mother would say - hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Well that's it, I fittin to lay it down like a perm. Holla at ya folks.

E.I.

Seperate but Equal

2005-08-17T23:31:00.000-07:00

MY PEOPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm finally back. Sorry for the long wait but I went on vacation and then I got sick, but the past is the past and it's time to get back on da grind. I've seen a bunch and there's been alot that I wanted to talk about so let get up on it.

Like I said before I was on vacation. I went back home to the streets of New Jersey. When I was there I had the rare opportunity to compare and contrast two very different venues. I got a chance to go to a white club in a rich suburb on a Friday and then a reggae club in Trenton the very next day. When I went to these two very different places I noticed some very interesting differences:

In the White Club -
1. The girls in this club spent more time dancing with each other than the guys at the club. It wasn't like they were all in a circle or anything like that they were actually dancing with each other on some old pseudo-lesbian stuff. I felt lke I was in one of those Girls Gone Wild commercials, but with no flashing.

2. The majority of the guys in the club couldn't dance. It was funny cause they all kept bumping into each other even though there was plenty of space on the dance floor. Actually now that I think about it there was more contact on the dance floor than a full pad practice at the Dolphins mini-camp.

3.
TIMEOUT!!!!!!!!!! - I'm watching BET right now and I just had to say that Keysha Cole is HELLA fine, and her song, 'I Should have Cheated', is kinda tight - now back to our current blog already in progress

- The drinks are a decent price and size, and are not watered down. I bought a screw driver for 5 dollars. It was in a regular sized glass and the bartender used Absolut.

4. What the hell is up with that one strobe light that be hittin you in the eye no matter where you are standing in the club?

5. They hate on guys wearing white t-shirts and sneakers.

In the Reggae club -

1. No girls are dancing with each other, actually most of them are dancing with the guys there, and this dance can compete with almost anything you can buy at Magic City in Atlanta.

2. The dance floor is the size of a kitchen tile and there's about 700 people on it and no one is hitting anyone.

3. The drinks are hella expensive and they are about the size of a shot glass. Like I bought a screwdriver for 7 bucks and it was about the size of a big shot glass, but it had like 150 ice cubes in it, and I think she used General's Pride vodka.

4. There were no strobe lights, and the club was almost pitch blac which gave it a more intimate feel, but the problem with this is that if you're grinding on a mud duck at the end of the night and those lights come one, everyone will know who you were grinding on.

5. They hatre on guys wearing t-shirts and sneakers.

See I have a problem with the last one on both lists. I personally like going to the club wearing sneakers and t-shirts. I understand the logic, they want to keep out a certain, Tear da Club up, shoot up the parking lot crowd. But c'mon ya'll think about it the last time you went to a club that was hella crunk what were the people wearing, t-shirts and jerseys, and think about the last time you pulled a number in the parking lot, someone was shooting while you and the person you were hollering at were ducking behind someone else's car. So yeah sometimes it's good to be grown and sexy but we still gotta show love to the crunk places. Well it's late so I'm fittin to go to bed and BET uncut, I'll holla at ya'll later.

P.S. I promise it won't be another month between my posts.

P.P.S. Am I the only one that's shocked that it's been about 7 episodes of MTV's Real World and they haven't cut out and neglected the black roommate, well I'm going to keep watching I know it's gonna happen sooner or later.

P.P.P. S. We need more Def Poetry Jam DVDs in our lives.

Uno

Laundry Night

2005-07-12T23:29:00.000-07:00

Today's Post is rated MA for adult situations.....

Yo what's good ya'll,

Usually I use my post to give out my opinions, advice and overall views on the world but tonight I decided to talk about what happened tonight all while I was trying to do my laundry. Tonight happened to fall under the category of "Dog, ya'll won't believe what the hell happened tonight." First it started like this, I had to do laundry so I waited until midnight, which was kind of a dumb idea in hindsight, and I headed onto campus to do my laundry in my normal laundry doing spot by the apartments. So after going back and forth to my car because I forgot, my quarters first, then my laundry detergent, and on the third time I finally realized I forgot the clothes. So I headed out and when I got to the laundry room what happened - they took the washers and dryers out. How the hell are you going to take the washers and dryers out and not tell nobody that was super hating. I mean they inform you about everything else on this campus why couldn't nobody say anything about the washers and dryers not being there anymore?

So once I saw this I decided to go to a laundro mat that I saw somewhere else. So as I drove up to this spot I noticed that it was about 12:30 and the spot I knew was closed. So I decided to just wait until morning and come back. As I was driving down the street looking to make a U-turn I saw a 24 hour laundromat. When I came in to the place it was hella weird cause there was this creepy looking guy pacing back in forth like he was the washers body guard. So I asked him if it was cool to use the last two available washers and he was like "yeah yeah" and walked off. Hella weird.

On my way to this place I saw within walking distance a sign with flashing lights - "Adult Fantasy Books" and it was open. I thought that this store might have been a 24 hour comic book store for adults cause you know who really wants to wrestle a Spider Man comic from an 11 year old - That's my story and I'm sticking to it - so since I wasn't really doing anything else for the next 30 minutes I went in and lo and behold no comic books. It was an adult movie and magazine store. In my various travels I've been to adult stores up and down the East Coas......... I mean I've heard of people going to different stores, yeah that's it, and this by far the worst one I've been too, so for people who might own one of these stores here are some tips

1. Organize and Seperate - This is not a library people are not going to dig through shelves looking for movies so don't stack them on the shelves, and also seperate the movies into categories do you know how disturbing it is to go from Naughty Flexible Cheerleaders 8 to The Best Man ( and I'm not talking about the movie with Taye Diggs and Morris Chestnut)

2. Provide plenty of room between the shelves - This place had 3 walls filled with ummmm let's call them Male Prostetic Limbs, and the shelves were hella close to these walls. Do you know how difficult it is to look for something interesting with one of these Male Prostetic Limbs inches from you the back of your neck and ears.

Needless to say I got out of this crazy ass store hella fast and went back to the laundromat. So then I'm chilling on one of the benches with my clothes in the dryer reading my ESPN magazine and out of nowhere this couple sits next to me and starts making out. Now I'm not a hater so I really have no problem with PDA but there was hella space throughout the place did they really have to sit right next to me and do this. Luckily my clothes were finished and I was able to just get up and leave.

So I packed my clothes up and went home and it was about 1:45. When I got out my car I heard someone yell "Yo what's Big Man let me holla at ya for a minute" and up comes this guy on a bike. He was like "Yo Big Man I gots this Louis Vuitton wallet, you can give to your girl or who ever I'll let you get it for 20 dollars" I was like I don't have 20 dollars. He then said "Ok man Ok, how bout 10." So I took the wallet from him and looked at it, it seemed kinda real so I told him "Yo I'll give you 3 for it" which he replied "C'mon man you ain't got 5" I was then like "I said I'll give you 3 for it" He decided that that was enough and I copped it from him. Now some of ya'll might be like "Sam why did you only give him 3 dollars for it man, that's cold blooded" To this I say that I am a full believer in capitalism and supply and demand and let's think about it ya'll how much demand is there for a Louis Vuitton wallet on 59th place at 2:00 am in the morning. I was doing him a favor.

So I got into my apartment and by this time I was hella thirsty. So I looked in the fridge and was shocked to see that there was nothing to drink. Since I was still hella thirsty I decided to run out to CVS and get some grapefruit juice. So I jumped in my car and drove down the road and was waiting at the stop light to make a left. So I was waiting, and I was waiting, and I was waiting. I waited for about 10 minutes, I know this because I was listening to the radio and they played 3 chapters of Trapped in the closet while I was at the light waiting. SO I looked to the left and I looked to the right and no one was coming or had came for hella long so I decided to take the left. Just as I came out, BAM, as R.kelly said "Whoooo Whoooo Whoooo damn it's a police man" so I completed the left and he had his siren and light on so I slowed down and pulled over on the side of the road, but wait, he was going the other way and had like 6 blocks to go down before he could make a U-turn so I was then like "I AINT BEAT!!!!!!!!!" and I drove off to the CVS and parked my car behind another car and went in and chilled for a few minutes. I got my juice and dipped out and I managed to get back home with nothing else happening. So yeah what started out as a simple trip on campus to do laundry ended up being an adventrous and weird ass night. Well I'm fittin to lay it down, I'll holla at ya'll later.

E.I.

Please Don't Go

2005-07-11T18:35:00.000-07:00

"I watch gansta flicks and root for the bad guy. Turn it off before the end cause the bad guy die."

Yo what's really good ya'll?

Ok Ok I know what hasn't been really good, my updates. But c'mon ya'll you know me. I have commitment issues. Actually I don't know about that. Actually maybe I do, but never mind that's an issue for another time. So I was chilling out listening to music this weekend since the hurricane, tropical storm, whatever the hell you want to call it had my satellite tv acting up like a 'troubled child on crack' and I heard the quote from above from 50 and I started thinking, "Hey I do that too", and I started thinking about what movies was i sad to or angry to see the bad go. I came up with the following list.

1. Scarface - Yo he was the super gangsterist. He took on an army of columbian hitmen with only Emmanuelle Lewis's weight in coke and his 'lil friend'. He would have won too if it wasn't for the punk ass hitman who snuck up behind him.

2. Clubber Lane from Rocky III - Mr. T beat the hell out of Rocky and if it wasn't for the writers Rocky would have retired after he took that second ass whoopin and lost to Clubber for the second time. I pity the fool who thinks Rocky would have won that fight in real life.

3. Jet Li from Lethal Weapon 4 - Are you seriously telling me in any universe in existence ever that a hella old Mel 'What Women Want' Gibson and Danny 'Color Purple' Glover could beat Jet Li in a hand to hand fight just after they killed his brother(I haven't seen the movie in a minute so I don't exactly remember who they killed but I do know they killed someone close and that at the point of this fight Jet Li was hella pissed) c'mon ya'll this has to be the single most unbelieveable moment in movie history. Maybe if these two old guys had about 7 grenades, 14 Ak-47s, like 6 of Scarface's 'lil friends', and an F-16 fighter plane each they MIGHT be able to beat Jet Li. Them beating Jet Li with anything less is as real as a same sex marriage with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny in Arkansas.

4. Achillies from Troy - Ok he might not have been a bad guy but he was a super G and there is no way in hell Orlando Bloom should have killed him. He was the best part of the movie. Troy was basically 2 1/2 hours of Achillies doing whatever the hell he wanted to and I personally felt they should have let him continue his hella gangsta ways.

5. Tyler Dergon from Fight Club - He just went too hard through out the whole movie for Edward Norton's character to survive at the end. He should came out on top.

and finally.....

6. The Wicked Witch of the West - So let me get this straight, a little white girl from Kansas drops a house on her sister and she's the bad guy? This is as wrong as Micheal Jackson throwing a concert at Chuckie Cheese with an age limit of 12. Actually now that I think about it the witch took it pretty good. All she wanted was the shoes back. Ok ya'll I'm going to be real right now. Me and my sister don't always get along, and yes it is true we might not be the best people in the world, BUT if I came by and I saw that somebody, age, sex, or race doesn't matter, dropped a house on my sister, took her shoes, and a bunch of little people were dancing around, singing and eating lollipops, I would have burnt Munchkin land to the damn ground, licked and stepped on everybodies lollipop, put the elderly munchkins medication on the very top shelves, and pushed that chick down and got my sisters shoes back by any means neccessary. And if Glendola the good witch came out her mouth with anything other than "I'm sorry for your loss" or "Can I help you get those shoes back" I would beat her up too.

Well that's all for today ya'll. Let me know if there's any bad guys that ya'll were sad to see go. I know I probably left some off of this list. Holla at ya boy.

E.I.

My Response

2005-06-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

What's really good ya'll,

I'm chillin. I was thinking what should I write about today and like clock work this comment came in:

Anonymous said...
wut if that aruba girl ran away with a new boyfriend and was scared to tell her parents? she'd be hella rich when she decides to show her face again wit the movie and book deals and all.

Yes this is true. It seems to me that there are a lot of white people getting paid for NOT being missing. Like the little boy, he wasn't missing he was playing a big game of hide and go seek. The runaway bride, I mean this can't be fair. I used to be against them taking her to court but now, SCREW THAT, break her pockets. Why should she get paid cause she crazy. C'mon ya'll she ain't really that interesting. What is interesting is that her fiance is still with her. I mean the media had this dude lookin like Scott Peterson until she decided to stop being crazy and show her bug eyed face in public.

C'mon news people, there's plenty going on in the world that you don't have to sensationalize these people. Ya'll need to be telling us something important like what's good with Social Security, or what's the progress on finding Bin Laden, or when does the new R.Kelly cd/dvd come out, or when is Kayne West dropping that Late Registration. Well that's it for now, Holla at ya folks.

E.I.

In My Lifetime

2005-06-23T00:32:00.000-07:00

Yo qhat's good ya'll,

I'm chillin I'm chillin. Today I was looking at my sisters blog and she's been doing basically a series on how guys can approach women. This has been very helpful to some game deficient peoples I know. Ya'll should go check it out at http://aceloveadvice.blogspot.com/ . Well when I was looking at this I started looking back and seeing how my way of approaching women has changed over the years.

1986, 1987 - "Hi you're pretty, can you tie my shoes for me."

1988 - 1991 No hollering, Girls had coodies

1995 - "Umm I've never done this before, but you're so beautiful I would be really mad at myself if I didn't talk to you."

1997 - "Yo you need to get with me cause I'm going to be driving next year."

1999 - Standing out in front of the club or party yelling at the top of my lungs "Who wants to take me home I'm easy!!!!!!"

2000 - Walks up to girl working in a store at the mall Me: "Hey how you doin today?" Her: "I'm fine"....... a few minutes of small talk .......... Me: "Yo my friends are about to leave can I get your number" Her: "I have a boyfriend" Me: "Oh ok" Me: "But yo are you saying that because you really have a boyfriend, or because you don't think I'm cute" Her: "No I really have a boyfriend" Me: "So you do think I'm cute" Her: "Yeah you're cute" Me: "Cute enough to cheat on your boyfriend with?" Her: " You're so crazy"

2001 - Walks up to girl in the club looking especially mad "Why you over here looking all mad like someone stole your bike?"

2002 - "As you can tell I'm not from around here, I'm saying what do ya'll do for fun around here, I mean can you show me a good time in your city" .....while hanging out with her .... "You know your mad cool, girls from around my way be all uptight and mean, but you just a real down ass chick."

2003 - "For real, for real, I'm young, cute, funny, I have no kids and I'm about to be successful, I feel women should be trying to impress me, I'm that work."

Well that's all for now, let me know what ya'll think and maybe send me some ways ya'll approached someone in the past. Holla at ya boy.

E.I.

Givin Food for thought, so go get a plate.

2005-06-21T23:52:00.000-07:00

Yo what's good ya'll,

Sorry for the lack of updates, but it's summer time and I've been on the chilly chill. But I'm going to try and be better with myt daily thoughts. It's not that I can't think of anything I have plenty but it's just that I don't be feeling like writing it down and putting it into a clever blog. Well now that that's done I decided for today I wouldn't just write about one thing but I will instead write about some of the things I've heard and or thought during the last week since I posted.

What went through my head when:

I heard about the conviction of the guy who killed the civil rights workers 41 years ago - "about damn time, why is it that it took them 41 years to convict this guy but it took them only about 30 seconds to get OJ"

The run away bride getting a $50,000 book deal - "That bitch got paid for taking a trip on Grey hound"

The run away bride getting interviewed on the today show - "I've been on mad more interesting trips on the bus and not even my momma wants to aske me about them"

Mad people saying Micheal Jackson was guilty and got away with it - "Ain't none of ya'll say a damn thing when that guy from Barretta got off"

When two women were fighting in the street tonight in pajamas and slippers - "Damn, it has to be embarassing as hell to get beat up in the street by a women in pajamas and slippers"

When I heard what they were fighting about after they were broken up - "I love my people"

When I saw the new cast of the Real World 1. - "Why do they always have to get some soulful street savvy, black pride representing black guy to fill the minority quota"

When I saw the new cast of the Real World 2. - "How come they always get two white guys who will be best of buddies to alienate the one black guy with the above description, when will we see two black guys alienating someone"

When I heard the new Real World was in Austin, Tx - "Philadelphia, now Austin I guess they're running out of cities. Mark my words, Real World 19 will be in Cheslihurst, Nj"

My friends expressed thier disinterest in going to the club because they were letting people in with jerseys and white tees 1. - "I like going to the club in a white tee and some Timbs, they be the crunk parties, and besides what's better game that walking a shorty to her car and dodging gun fire with her, I mean the game for that situation basically writes itself"

My friends expressed thier disinterest in going to the club because they were letting people in with jerseys and white tees 2. - "I don't be feeling like being grown and sexy all the time, plus how well can a non stripper girl dance in a pair of BCBG boots anyway"

What I thought about my family being considered mean - "This week on Def Poetry Jam Alicia Keys had a deep poem called 'Prisoner of Words Unsaid' she called herself a prisoner of compassion, sympathy, kindness. I guess my family doesn't attend that prison"

When I heard "300 bars and running" by The Game 1. - "Yeah Olivia kinda does look like a man"

When I heard "300 bars and running" by The Game 2. - "Damn he doesn't like 50, I don't think I know anyone who I could talk bad on for 15 minutes straight"

I heard about the way the Holloway case was being handled - "They're about to arrest the whole island to find that white girl"

What my sister said about the Holloway disappearance - "If she was my daughter I would go down to Aruba and look into the sky and yell, 'If you're up there you better not be there when I get there cause what I'm going to do to you for putting me through this is going to get me kicked out of there"

Well that's all for today holla at ya folks later.

E.I.

How ya'll gonna get mad?

2005-06-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

Yo what's good ya'll,

I usually write at night but something has come across my mind that I just feel I have to get off my chest. As everyone knows the Micheal Jackson verdict dropped on Monday. And just like with OJ almost 10 years ago white people seemed to be appalled and shocked at the verdict. To that I have one thing to say, STOP HATIN!!!!!! White people have been gettin off forever and now that some famous black people get off all of a sudden there's a problem with the justice system. I mean you didn't hear anyone saying anything when Robert Blake got for the murder of his wife and dude did damn near everything except put an ad in the New York Times to get her hit. The guys who killed Emmit Till got off and there were two eye witnesses. The cops who beat Rodney King like a pinata on a Mexican birthday got off and there was a video tape. It seems to me people are mad now cause it's the 'Negreos" who are gettin off now. It's long been said that money makes the world go round and this is true. Yes justice is blind but her palms are still open. So white people stop getting mad cause we used ya'll system against ya'll and got over on it just like ya'll been doing for years.

Well I'm out, holla at me and let me know what you think about this.

Uno

You know it Couldn't be Me?

2005-06-09T07:59:00.000-07:00

Yo what's good ya'll?

I'm back from vacation and I'm starting back to writing. Some people say why do you call it Sam's thought of the day if you don't post something everyday. Well it's like this, I think of something everyday, I actually have like a back list of things I want to talk about but...... ummm I'm lazy, if you know me you know how true this is. So I"m going to try to write a little more frequently than I have but I'm not going to make any promises. Now on to the topic today.

I read a story last night about this dude from Tampa. He's a pizza delivery man and it seems that some robbers tried to jack him on a delivery and he fought them. During the fight he took a bullet in the leg. HE was able to get away and since he didn't have a phone he went to his next stop and delivered the pizza and asked to call his manager to tell him to call the police. Oh but this is the funny part. This man's leg is bleeding and he still decides to make the last three stops to deliver the pizzas. Now when I first read this I had mad jokes on dude delivering the pizzas but now that I've had time to think about it two people need to get clowned.

First off, this pizza delivery man is a beast. I mean I don't go to work if the wind is blowing to hard. This man continued to do his job after fighting off robbers and taking one in the leg. Personally if it had been me I wouldn't have delivered pizzas with a bullet wound because I wouldn't have fought. What the hell I look like fighting for someone else's money? Man they got the game all wrong . I mean let's think about this ya'll, it's delivering pizzas not some revolutionary act. If I'm going to fight and possibly die for something it better be about gaining some freedoms or righting some inequalities. What the hell it look like me dying for someone's pepperoni pizza, it couldn't be me.

Now to person number two. What kind of slave driving, hard ass boss is going to let someone deliver pizzas with a bullet wound in thier leg. Like I've had bosses suggest I go home if my head is hurtin too bad, this dude let one of his employees drive around to three more stops shot up. I would have been like you need to deliver yourself to the hospital and quit all this I'm the 50 cent of Pizza men mentality. I mean if one of the job qualifications is that you have to be able to take a shot and keep delivering pizzas damn that, I guess I don't have the qualifications for the job.

Well that's all for today check back tomorrow, I have something I've been meaning to write about.

Holla at ya boy,

Uno

The Real Baby Momma Drama

2005-05-25T20:50:00.000-07:00

Yo What's good ya'll,

I've been chilling. I was driving around today and I heard two things that kinda caught my attention. The first thing that I heard was that Ricky Williams was going to come back and play football. I guess you can smke weed and kick it for only so long before you feel the need to do something constructive. But the reason people are crediting for his return is that he has to pay $4,000 a month for child support. I also heard that P.Diddy, I mean Puffy P.D.iddy is just a dumb ass name, has to pay $12,000 a month plus an additional $120,000 a year for insurance, clothes, and vacations.

So let me get this straight Ricky Williams has to pay his baby mama $48,000 a year for child support while Puff pays his baby moms $264,000 a year. What in the hell are they getting thier kids and why in the hell do they have to pay thier baby mamas so damn much. Like don't get me wrong, I'm a complete believer in supporting your children, and I stress supporting your children. How can you logically say it costs $48,000 a year to support a child, one, uno, ein child, let alone $264,000. I mean c'mon baby mamas I know ya'll deal with alot but damn, you dont have to break the mans pockets like that. I can't even think how to spend $4,000 a month on a child what do you get them silk Versaci diapers and rattles filled with 6 carat emerald cut diamonds. Baby mama's ya'll don't need that damn much money to raise a child, stop being greedy and just take what you need, and Judges stop hatin on young black males making money by giving out these crazy ass huge ass monthly payments. I mean damn ya'll trippin. Well thatis it for today holla at ya boy, and if your a young black male making hella paper wrap it up twice.

Holla at ya boy,

E.I.

My Very Own Self Help Guide

2005-05-23T20:44:00.000-07:00

Yo what's good ya'll

I was chilling today reading various articles from msn.com as usual and I saw something that interested me. I then came up with a great idea for my next blog. But then something else hit me. Some members of my family have said that I am very ummm...... devil like. I think this is due to the fact that I have what I like to call adjustable morals. This is when I use my intellect to logically justify any action that I see fit. It's been working for me. Well on to the blog for today. I saw this article about ways to tell if your mate is cheating here's what they listed:

1. Phone flubs The telltale hang-up when you pick up your beloved’s home phone is a thing of the past; now, cell phones make communication between lovers much easier. But they’ve also created new problems…they leave an evidence trail: “We were out to dinner one night, he got a call and when I asked who it was, he had a lot of trouble coming up with an answer,” recalls Alex from Baltimore. “A few minutes later, he went to the bathroom and left his phone, so I had to look. Of course his ex-girlfriend’s name came up on the missed call list.” It’s not just the call log that can get cheaters in trouble: “The cell-phone bill is a huge indicator,” advises DeLorenzo. “It’s the easiest place to gather evidence—repeated, unfamiliar calls with a longer duration than others, for instance, especially early in the morning or late at night.” So if your partner gets weirded out when you see his cell phone bill out, it’s probably not because he’s embarrassed by the extravagant minutes plan he signed up for.

2. Working overtime Just because your boyfriend or girlfriend’s work hours aren’t always consistent doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being cheated on, but you could well be in trouble: “It’s hard to come home from work and go back out to meet up with someone, so using the ‘working late’ excuse to account for missing time is a natural,” says DeLorenzo. “I used to call him at the office when he was supposedly working late, and he wouldn’t be there,” recalls Heather of Miami. “He had mentioned a female coworker a few times, so I started asking for her when he wasn’t there and guess who else was never available?”

3. A new interest in the net “Guys still primarily use the Internet for porn,” says DeLorenzo, “But I’d say that 90% of the women in chat rooms are in relationships and looking for someone to cheat with.” Email trails, however, are a problem for guys and girls alike. If you find your partner slamming their laptop every time you walk in on them checking their email (for the hundredth time that day), it’s fairly likely that they aren’t planning you a surprise party. If it’s a joint account (or if you know your sweetheart’s password and are the kind of person who’d snoop), you can search for the truth. There’s also the always good tactic of just asking for the truth.

4. Romance revisions A sudden lack of interest in sex or a sudden display of new techniques can be solid indicators that something’s up. Women who cheat, for example, often need to separate their two relationships: “They don’t come home after having a tryst and then have sex with their partner,” says DeLorenzo. So if she’s not all that interested in a romp with you, it could mean she’s romping elsewhere. Men, on the other hand, tend to trip themselves up when they bust out new moves they’ve learned from someone else. “Women always tell me they first got suspicious when their partner started pulling crazy moves in the bedroom they knew their guy hadn’t learned from any magazine,” notes DeLorenzo.

5. “It’s your imagination” “I’ve found that by the time someone starts suspecting their lover of being unfaithful, the affair is already six to twelve months old. Their partner has just started slipping up,” says DeLorenzo. At this point, the cheater is likely to turn the tables, making you feel guilty or paranoid for asking questions. That’s when alarm bells should ring. “I felt like something was up between my boyfriend and his ex—they were spending too much time together—so I confronted him about leaving me out of things,” recalls Erin of New York. “He told me I was crazy and accused me of looking for a fight. I didn’t feel so nuts a couple weeks later when I found another woman’s undies in his laundry hamper.”

6. “I need my space” If you already suspect that your partner is cheating, and he or she asks for more space, this is not a good sign—“space” is likely a euphemism for “space away from you so I can see who else is out there.” Consider this case history: “After I accused him being too distant, my guy told me he needed some time alone to clear his head and was taking a scuba trip with some friends and he’d be unreachable for a few days. The day after he left, his itinerary from Club Med came,” tells Angie of Cleveland. “And he sure wasn’t there with his guy friends.” So if your special someone says time alone is needed, don’t be surprised if you’re being sent the signal that you’ll soon be solo—that’s the sad truth about how cheaters operate, so arm yourself with this knowledge.

So the idea I came up with is to give a few ways to get your cheat on and not get caught:

1. Handle the Cell Homey - To me it seems the majority of cheaters get caught up with thier cell phones. Your mate notices you on the phone at odd times for long periods of times and then they invade your privacy and check the phone and call the number. Here's what you need to do to stay on top of this. First commit the number to memory, that way there's no new names in the phone for your mate to take notice of and confront you about. Also when the cheatee calls you at the wrong time you can just look at the number not pick up and tell them it was a wrong number. Second make sure a paper bill doesn't come to your house. No paper bill, no evidence of your phone habits, no hot grits being thrown on you at breakfast. And please don't talk to them in front of your mate men and women talk differently to each other then they talk to someone of the same sex, your mate will notice the difference and get suspicious.

2. Get your Times Straight - Everyone knows the working late excuse and it will only take you so far. Tell your mate your going out after work with some of your friends. Let your good friends know this so that if your significant other gets to snooping they will cover for you. Make sure these are good friends, not the punk ass ones that get squeemish when it comes to bending or breaking rules, your friends should know that they're your friends not the mates. But personally I would take the aggresive defensive approach to this problem. If your mate asks you where you have been simply say "I've just been out." When they ask for you to tell them then say "Why do want to know?" then when they ask again you come with, "You don't trust me?" "Cause if you trusted me you wouldn't have to know where I was 24 hours a day. Maybe I just want some time alone to think about some things" Then hit them with this, "Do you think I would ever cheat on you?" People have egos and thier egos get hurt at the thought of someone wanting someone else over them so unless you've been really sloppy with your stuff they're going to back off because they don't want to admit to themselves that they've been cheated on.

3. Keep your Privacy - Another big way people get caught is when your other snoops around your e-mails. If your going to do dirt use a seperate e-mail address from hotmail or yahoo and chat with them from a seperate AIM account hten you regularly use. Also keep your passwords to yourself so there won't be any sneaky snooping.

4. Cover up your satisfied needs: When people are out cheating they usually won't want sex when they come back home. For women this is pretty easy to handle just say you have a headache or something and the guys will buy it. For guys to handle this you have two choices, 1. Just go ahead and do it to keep supisions(sp?) low or 2. Treat her extra special and tell her it's just because you care, she'll be expecting you to try to do something but when you don't she'll think that you really meant it and will forget about you neglecting to have sex.

Also if you live in Houston and you notice a white van following you everywhere it's the show Cheaters and they've probably been following you for weeks, be prepared for them and your mate to jump out that van and to confront you and the cheatee. They have high quality spy equipment and almost limitless man hours so getting past them will be hard. Just be prepared to get your 'Kobe' on and start looking for big gifts to regain your mates trust. Well that's it for today if ya'll have anymore tips to get away with cheating ya'll send them to me, don't be greedy your fellow cheaters can use all the help they can get.

Holla at ya boy,

E.I.

Your Bad

2005-05-22T23:19:00.000-07:00

What's good ya'll,

I'm back. I've been chilling with finals and sleeping and everything I haven't really felt like my smart ass sarcastic internet blogging self but something hit me today. I was reading MSN news today and for some reason they had the brilliant idea to post that critics did not like the new Brittney Spears and that other guy's reality show. Here were some of the comments the critics wrote:

Variety: "A self-indulgent, mindless piece of drivel ... a visual assault of nauseating camera angles, likely to upset even the most desensitized TV viewer ... It makes Jessica and Nick look like Mensa candidates."

The Washington Post: "There's no danger of anyone ever dumbing it down. A dumber downer would potentially be lethal. It would have to be buried in lead for 10,000 years, like nuclear waste ... An execrable mess by absolutely any standard, though of course these days the idea of standards is just all too uncool. It was America's crummiest home video."

Entertainment Weekly: "Career suicide by videocam ... The truth is not only that she's vapid, but that she's self-obsessed to a dangerous degree."

The Hollywood Reporter: "Spears comes across like a party-hearty college girl with her shaky-cam, finger-up-her-nose, close-up-of-her-pores, leering video snippets."

The Boston Globe: "It's just a tedious public exercise in self-importance and striptease."
Television Without Pity: "The show is like an extremely boring car crash: It sucks and really nothing at all happens in the end, but nevertheless you can't look away -- the only true entertainment value being the constant and very real threat that at any minute either of Britney's gigantic bodyguards might kick the [bleep] out of K. Fed, whom they obviously hate."

Ok I know I'm going to hate myself in the morning for this but in the shows defense -

First off this is a show strictly for Brittney Spears fans, if you are not fan you are obviously not going to like it. I mean not being a fan of Brittney and watching this show is like being a Klansman and watching BET. Yes we already know it's not going to be good but you're REALLY not going like it. To me it seems these critics were expecting deep, smart and an in depth look into the lives into these two people. What the hell were ya'll thinking? It's Brittney and Kevin, not Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt. Looking for smart tv out of this show is like going to a Nation of Islam cookout and looking for a pork chop. It's not thier fault for not having it, it's your fault for being a dumbass. I can't believe that these critics are actually complaining about the lack of intelligence this show had. It's like watching a reality show about Jenna Jameson and being surprised by the nudity.

The critics also said that this was career suicide. Let's think about this ya'll there is no such thing as career suicide anymore. I mean R.Kelly has a dvd with him and a 14 yr old doing some crazy things selling in Specs next to the Dave Chappelle Season 2 dvd and he is still selling mad records. I mean c'mon ya'll I expect better from you critics. I can't believe that ya'll had the expectations ya'll had. Then when the show didn't meet these rediculous expectations ya'll wrote some angry reviews heavy on big words. C'mon ya'll I expected better. You can't blame the show for what ya'll got. There's only one thing I can say about this "Ya'll bad"

Well I'm out. I promise to be more punctual with my posts.

Holla at ya boy

That's not Right!!!!!

2005-05-07T23:15:00.000-07:00

What's good ya'll,

I was chilling today doing some work and watching tv and I saw something interesting. Today they were reviewing a Paris Hilton movie which did not use special night vision. Which reminds me how the hell did she get Navy SEAL quality night vision equipment for her freaked out personal use. I mean it was pitch balck and you could see everythi....... not that I've seen the movie I'm just saying na'mean I heard it was really really clear. But anyway it seems she is now getting credit for the coming up with the term "That's hot". For that I have my own term "That's Bullshit!!!!!" I know i usually don't curse but I had to in this case, this chick has gone too far. You want to make scandalous sex tapes like R.Kelly fine, you want to make a reality show bad enough to be on BET primetime that's ok, you wanna drop an album and have Lil Jon produce a few songs on it, hey do you, but you will not, and I repeat will not steal slang that I've been using for years. "That's Hot" is my slang and I will not let White America think your micro skinny ass has started it.

But Sam why does it matter, what's the big deal? Here it is ya'll. Let's say I'm around some people who are slang deficent and I say that something is "hot". I can see it now everyone looks at me all crazy and thinks that I'm a Paris Hilton fan and that I'm talking like her. No she talks like me. So Ms Hilton if you would like to continue to use my slang you gonna have to come up off some cheddar to use my phrase. Until I open my mailbox and see a fatty fat fat check I have a term especially for you, "GET YOUR OWN SLANG!!!!!!!"

That is all for today, (Why white people gotta take everything from us, Our freedom, our music, our clothes, our slang, Micheal Jackson, Tina Turner, and now white women trying to corner the market on big butts, it's it's just not right)

Just a little Stale

2005-05-05T21:25:00.000-07:00

Yo what's good ya'll,

I've been chilling, finals are here so I guess I should get started on my take homes and finish this semester out. Hopefully I'll be done by the middle of next week. Now to respond to my last post's comments. First 5'1 and 1/4 really is a good height for someone. Especially if you live in Oz and give away lollipops. Second yes it is true that the reason for the rise of punk ass parents is that there seems to be a rise of people who like to stick thier noses into other peoples buisness. But it seems kinda funny that real abuse goes unreported while the efforts of someone trying to discipline their children is reported. It's like people see real abuse and turn thier heads but they see something a little 'easier' and decide to jump on that. Well enough of that on to today's post.

For real for real ya'll, there are two reasons that my posts have started coming in drips and drabs. One reason is that well I've been on the chilly chill, and the second reason is that the news, which I make fun of, has been stale. I know I'm not the only one who notices this but there's like only 5 things reported in today's news.
1. Micheal Jackson does some more dumb ass stuff in court
2. Somebody blew something up in Iraq.
3. Democrats don't like the candidates Bush is nominating
4. Republicans don't like the Democrats
5. No one likes Bush's social security plan

C'mon news media we need some more news than this stuff, and no I do not mean who's been kicked off American Idol or what's happening to a run away bride who's been found. Speaking of that we do not need to see this lady walking through the airports after she's been found. She's already embarassed enough and the news media has decided to follow her through the airport and try to analyze the way she's walking. C'mon ya'll there has to be some better news out there. Like let's talk about how they pushed back the Dave Chappelle Show season 2 dvd's been pushed back, that super sux. C'mon ya'll give the people what they want. Well I'm fitting to go lay it down, holla at ya folks.

Uno

P.S. To the groom of the runaway bride. Run now homey, if she's crazy enough to run out on you before the wedding without her keys, or wallet imagine what she could do after a few years of marriage when ya'll don't like each other anymore.

P.P.S. Yo I gotta admit it, R.kelly's new song is hot and I'll probably be there the day TP3 comes out to get me a copy. Yes he has a problem but you can't deny the music.

Grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!

2005-05-03T16:34:00.000-07:00

Yo what's up ya'll,

I'm chillin chillin. Sorry for the delays in the posting I've been very ummmmm.............. Ok Ok I've been on the chilly chill but I'm back. I've been having a little bit of trouble trying to figure out what to write about but I finally came up with it. I figured that I would just write about what's been making me mad or annoying me. Now I cannot claim to have come up with the title myself, I was inspired by someone I've been around. Cause you see I said something to them, I forget exactly but it was probably something about thier height, and they growled at me. Now anyone who knows me knows that I talk alot, and I mean a whole lot, of trash, and you see the problem with talking a whole of trash and talking without thinking is that you can usually incite normal people to do abnormal things like, stab you with markers, stab you with butter knives, smack you in the back of the head, hit you with a pillow, raise the price to get your hair braided, kick you out of the car, threaten to tell my moms(that's the worse thing ever), or in this case growl at you. Well now that you know the back story, on with the post for today:

1. Online Dating - Ok so yestderday I was talking to a friend and he told me about this online dating site, since they ain't coming off no cheddar I'm not going to give them a shout out, I, like most people, am a little ok alot sceptical about meeting someone over the internet but he told me "Don't sleep" and he then showed me some of the people he was talking to from this site. So I decided to visit myself and see what I could see for the freeskie. And what did I see? I saw a whole buch of mud-ducks - Mud-Ducks n. - An ucute person, someone who is an ugly duckling stuck in the ugly phase, you know someone who wouldn't be to bad if they fixed them selves up. So there I was looking through this site and seeing nothing but mud ducks and I thought, "Ain't this a dating site?" C'mon ya'll if you're going to put a pic of your self on a dating site please please please make sure it's at least a cute picture of yourself. You know if a pic of you is a bad pic, so why would you put an ugly ass pic of yourself on a dating website. It's not like in the real world where you just throw something on and go out to the store or walk your dog. This is the interent the people only get to see the part of you that you show them so there's no excuse for you to look bad. There is no excuse to have an ugly picture on the interent. I mean go out and get a professional to do it. You know when you have an ugly ass picture that's why you have a better chance of finding WMDs in Iraq then you have of finding a picture of me from about 1992 to about 1997 cause they were bad pictures. C'mon ya'll I know you're supposed to look past the outer beauty and see what's on the inside but let's be real your profile can't be THAT interesting. So stop it, no more ugly ass pics please!!!!!!!

2. Riding your bike at night - This goes out to the crackheads who ride thier bikes down 66th St. at night. I'm through with slamming on my brakes cause ya'll like dressing in all black and riding your bikes in the middle of the street. C'mon ya'll it's common sense that if you wear brighter colors people can see your cracked out ass in the dark, and hence you will not be hit by a car. Now I am well aware that doing drugs, as Mr. Clark said it, "Kills your brain cells son, Kills your brain cells." so please refer to the graph below

Chances of your Cracked out ass getting hit by a car:

Wearing Dark Colors:
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Pretty Damn High

Wearing Bright Colors:
llllll
Not so Damn High

Now if you still cannot grasp this concept then follow the directions below:
1. Put the damn pipe down
2. Let Brain Simmer
3. Re-read blog

Ok so ya'll have officially been warned, so for now on I'm going to drive down 66 St. and if i hit your cracked out ass I will not stop nor will I feel bad. You have been warned.

3. Punk-ass Parents - Ok last week I was reading some parenting articles on the internet and I came to this conclusion. These so called professionals have these confused parents becoming straight up punks. First issue I have: I read an article about what to do if your child tells that they hate you. The article said to try and understand your childs feelings and not to dismiss them. This takes me back to my own child hood when I once told my mom I hate you. After I said that my mom quickly told me that no one was keeping me here and I was free to go whenever I want. She then said that as long as I stayed under her roof and I ate her food I would do whatever she told me and I better be happy about it. This let me know that Yes I have legitimate feelings but no they didn't matter cause I was not in control. Hence teaching me independence. Now the second article: This article was about what to do when your child wants something in the store and throws a tantrum when they don't get it. The article said to make a list of what you want from the store and then to ask the child for one thing that they want and to make that the only thing you get them. Here's the part that gets me, the parent also has to stick to the list. Now when I think back too my childhood I remember my mom giving me and my siblings a pre-shopping speach that went like this - "Listen I ain't got no money so ya'll better not ask for anything or I'll smack you." and when you asked for something she smacked you with a left faster than Oscar De La Hoya. That's what you need to do if your child acts out of line you need to get control of the situation. You don't have to limit yourself cause it's your money you're spending. How is a "professional" going to tell me that I have to stick to my list even if there's a fatty fat fat sale on something I want. I'm the adult, I do what I want to do. And if your child throws a tantrum don't be afraid to pull the belt out, and beat them or anyone who wants to say that that is bad parenting. Actually now that I think about it that's who needs to be beat, the people who don't have children telling you not to beat your kids or how to to raise your child. So parents don't be afraind and please don't be punks you're not the childs equal you're the parent, you support them their your children not your roommates.

Well that's all for today holla at ya folks with the comments. Hey yo my sister has a tight blog that ya'll need to check out she's over there dropping some hot game to the masses it's - aceloveadvice.blogspot.com. Well I'm out holla at ya folks.

Uno

You giving me da finger?

2005-04-17T22:12:00.000-07:00

My peoples,

What's really good ya'll? Everything is cool over here. Yo I'm listening to that cd by Lyfe and I must say it is one of the best cds out right now. To me it seems that R&B is kinda taking a dive, there's not too much hotness out there anymore, nothing that you can just throw on and vibe with. But my man Lyfe has dropped a hot cd that you can listen to all the way through numerous times. Especially that jaun Hypothetically, it has me thinking deeply everytime I hear it. Well enough of that, since the record label isn't paying me, on to the buisness at hand:

I happened to be reading this week and I read the craziest story. It seems this lady found a finger in her Wendy's Chili. A human finger in her chili. .............. How in the hell do you get a human finger into a cup of chili? The hell? What? Huh? Chili ain't a finger food. All I know is that if I find a finger in my chili I'm going back to the store, jumping over the counter and I'm smacking the hell out of everyone wearing one of those ugly shirts. So ya'll know I had to keep up with this story. It seems that a couple of days later a lady in another state contacted people and told them that was her finger, which had been severed by a cougar a few days ago. It seems that the finger could not be re-attached and the lady said to throw it out. This missing finger lady said she recognized the fingers manicure as her own and decided to call in and claim the finger. The FBI thinks that the finger belongs to a missing person and has taken interest in the case.

To me it seems the questions are directed in the wrong location. Everyone wants to know where the finger comes from, but something else has crossed my mind................... Where in the hell does Wendy's get their Chili from. This lady had her finger thrown away in another state, and I'm sure this missing person isn't in a Wendy's cooking container, so where does the chili come from? Do they like recycle trash or something, Is the head cook at Wendy's Oscar the Grouch or something, someone let me know. Oh but ya'll think this was the end of the it. You think that this story would just go away and die. Wrong Wrong, We talking about America people, c'mon ya'll.

It seems that the lady has decided to drop her case against Wendy's. She said that she was stressed out from all of the publicity and the investigations being done on her. Investigations done on her.............. How do you investigate the lady who found a finger in her chili. How stressful could that be? I mean Dudley Do Right could handle that. Do you have ten fingers? Yes Ok end of the investigation where's Dunkin Donoughts? Personally if had been me, If I found a finger in my chili, after I put it in my mouth, it seems she didn't look down at the spoon before eating it, there wouldn't be a case bought against Wendy's. Oh Hell no!!! They would have to come up off a check two minutes before immediately. IF they didn't come up off a check that day I would just go to the corporate office and pull a Mooky from 'Do the Right Thing'. I'll be damn if I let them run an investigation on me. Like I'm just that dude that has a case of human fingers on me at all times to hustle fast food places. You know there's a problem when there is a bigger investigation on the victim then on the company that's serving bowls of chili that are giving you the fnger.

Well I'm getting tired so I'm fittin to go lay it down. But before I do let's recap today's post, what have we learned today? 1. Go pick up that Lyfe Cd it's hot and it's an R&B cd coming from a different angle, and 2. Check your fast food , If they finding fingers in Wendy's chili I can just imagine what's in the Ceasar salad or the Frosty's.

Holla at ya boy,

E.I.

Back From Vacation

2005-04-14T22:32:00.000-07:00

What's good ya'll,

I've finally come back from my long vacation from writing. I'm sorry I've just had a lot of work to do and on top of that I've been very il...... Ok ya'll know me, I've playing Grand Theft Auto San Andreas and have been out of the current event loop for a while, it's hard to write biting political commentary and put foot to the behind of the man when the only things you watch are the Cartoon Network, BET, and ESPN. But I'm back and I'm renergized so on to today's post:

Since I've been watching ESPN I've heard about this event in Milan, that's Italy I think. It seems that during a soccer match a referee made a call that the fans disagreed with. In order to protest the call the fans threw bottles and lit flares onto the field. Lit flares, fire, hot, Let's take a minute to let this sink in....................... Ok, yeah European people are crazy about thier soccer. Oh but I'm not done yet, one of these lit flares hit one of the goalies in the arm. Lit flare hit player in arm, let's let this sink in.................................. Ok sports writers all over the country are hoping that this will not happen over here with the escalating fan violence we seem to be going through. I can assure everyone that this will never happen over here. How can I assure this you ask? It's not due to police, or security, it's not due to lit flares not being allowed at sporting events, no it comes down to one person. The person we can thank for this event never coming to pass is Ron Artest. We all saw what happened when he got hit with an EMPTY cup of beer. He ran into the stands and beat up the guy who he thought threw it, the guy next to that guy, and some guy who was running at him a little too hard. And since the majority of athletes in this country are African American, can you imagine what would happen if you hit a black man with a lit flare............................

What?!!!! Huh!!!? Is you out your damn mind!?!!!Yo if Ron Artest, or anyone from the projects of New York for that matter, got hit in the shoulder with a flare he would beat up not only the guy who he thought threw it, but probably everyone on that side of the stadium. Yo if he had been that goalie he would have beat up everyone from Milan to Rome. Yo for real for real if it had been me that got hit in the shoulder with a flare I would have ran up into the stands and slapped more people than Ike Turner at a Tina Turner look alike convention. I would go up there and give out more ass whoopins than Joe Jackson at a family reunion. Ya'll get the point, I would not be the only one needing medical attention up in there. And most athletes would probably react the same way and since Ron showed us that this belief is true we have him to thank for there never being anything like that happening in this country. Well I'm off to bed, Please keep reading cause I have some stuff saved up, I kinda feel like Al Pacino in Carlito's Way - "Okay I'm reloaded"

Holla at ya boy,

E.I.

A Very Important PSA

2005-03-31T10:02:00.000-08:00

What's good ya'll,

I'm chilling. I apologize for the lapse between postings but besides the Schiavo case and Micheal Jackson nothings really been going on and as Mr. Carter said, "You can't force art na'mean, like when you start forcing art you start to sound phony." So that's what's been going on. But today I bring to you my faithful readers a very important PSA:

If your feet are jacked up PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't wear flip flops, sandals or any other type of open toed shoes. I was in CVS getting some juice yesterday and I saw this guy in there with the worst feet ever. I mean they looked like he was wearing brown nail polish. This man's feet looked grimier than eating out of the garbage can. It looked like he used his feet to scratch lice infected Orgotangs backs. C'mon dog you know better than that. U know when ur feet are bad. I mean I'm going to b real here I know my feet look like I've been kicking concrete with them so that's y I keep them in a pair of Timbs or a fresh pair Air Force 1's. U have a better chance of seeing 50 Cent at a Ja Rule concert than you have of seeing my feet cause I know they're bad.

Oh yeah this goes for women too. Being in Miami alot of women wear sandals and other types of open toed shoes but not all of these women need to be wearing these. I mean if your feet look like one of those trees that be in the front of the scary houses you always see on Scooby Doo a pair of Nike Airs might be a better choice of shoe for you. If your pinky toe is kinda off to the side and behind all of the other ones because u've been stubbing it against random things maybe a pair of BCBG boots might be good for you. And ladies please please please have a fresh coat of paint on your toes. Don't be coming out the house with chipped paint. Having your toes looking like one of those run down houses in the hood. And one more thing If your feet are straight and your paint is tight please please please get the the right sized shoe for your foot. Nothing is uglier than seeing a girls toes hanging over the front of her shoe like a car bumper because she bought a shoe 2 sizes too small. Well that's all for now I've got to bounce holla at ya boy with any more tips for people who wear open toed shoes. There is no such thing as too much info.

E.I.

The Evolution

2005-03-24T22:34:00.000-08:00

Yo What's good ya'll,

Actually I already know what's good. The bootleg version of Hitch they sellin at the corner store for $5. I mean it has coming attractions and a menu. This bootleg is kinda tight I mean there's nobody walking in front of the camera the guy filming didn't put it down so he could go to the bathroom I can honestly say this is some high quality bootlegging. It seems to me that with the new found ability to download movies off the internet the bootlegging game has kinda fell off. It's like anybody with a high speed connection and burner can call themselves bootleggers. What happened to those guys on the streets who took pride in thier craft. You know the ones who watched the movie tiressly while holding up the camera for about 95% of the time. Sure you might get the movies where somebody walks in front of the screen or the people laughing drowns out some of the sound, or on occasion the bootlegger might put the camera down to get some rest, drink his soda, and eat some popcorn, but this was the price for getting movies while they were still in the theatres. But now the bootleggers have stepped up and are now providing the dvd menus and some of the extras, I'm glad to see that the bootleggers have stepped thier game up with the addition of new technology. I think of one of my friends back home who bootlegs movies. This man showed me the best bootleg of the movie Hero I have ever seen. Not only did he have the menu and the extras with the stereo options but this man had a banging cover and he had it pre dubbed in English. He could have sold copies to Best Buy if he wanted to. Yo homey, good work. U keep doin the damn thang. What this shows me is that hustling is a living breathing creature and it will never die. As long as there's something going on people are going to find loopholes and ways around it to get their hustle on. To those people I have this to say - "Keep ya hustle crackin, stay on top of ya mackin, and respect the game and the game will respect you"

Holla at ya folks,

E.I.

Welcome Back

2005-03-22T23:15:00.000-08:00

What's good ya'll,

I've finally come back from my brief hiatus. My bad ya'll it was spring break, some peoples came down, and for the whole week I was about 2 things (inside joke). Then I got sick, but now I'm almost over it and now it's back to work. So now on to buisness:

Last week the Senate had a meeting on an important issue, this issue was not the war in Iraq, nor was it about finding mixtape king (Osama Bin Laden), nor was it about why the hell I'm paying 2.22 a gallon for gas. No, this hearing was about steroids in baseball. Isn't there something more important you could be doing. Who cares about steroids in basebal? I don't and I don't think I know anyone who does. I mean they say that it's a bad influence on kids and they'll start using it. For that I have this, first if you are in high school using steriods there are deeper issues than just seeing Jose Canseco do it and wanting to be like him. Second these kids are getting the steroids from Tijuana. If you are dumb enough to inject yourself with something you either ordered on the internet or found on the shelf in Mexico chances are you were not going to be getting a Ph.D or winning a Nobel Peace Prize, I see this as natural selection.

I'm also getting tired of hearing about how the records are tainted. Baseball is one of those sports where if you're not cheating you're not trying hard enough. But wait a minute Baseball just started testing for steroids, so how can it be cheating if they don't say you can't use it. I'm also tired of hearing about how people's spot in the hall of fame is now shaky due to the steroid controversy. I mean as long as Ty Cobb, who beat a black man to death for looking at him funny, is in the hall of fame I don't want to hear a damn thing about someone being kept out of the hall because they lacked integrity or morals. Well that's enough on this subject, let me know what you think.

Holla at ya boy,

E.I.

A simple conversation (Post 2)

2005-03-10T22:47:00.000-08:00

What's good ya'll,

Here it is the second bonus post. This is just a brief philosophical discussion between two college graduates on how they can relate to some of the powerful lyrics spit by some of Hip Hops greatest artists. Let me know what ya'll think:

BigSam425: rap quote of the day:

slyservance: waiting...

BigSam425: "I like big butts and I cannot lie" - Sir Mix-a-Lot

slyservance: u can come better than that

BigSam425: i know i could come better but have u ever heard a rhyme that u can relate too as much as that one

slyservance: im sure i could come up with more than a few

slyservance: actually, now that i think about that in all its simplicity...i do believe ur right

BigSam425 : i know it's an undeniable truth

LOL!!!! But on a more serious note, Wednesday was the, for lack of a better word, anniversary of Biggie Smalls death. Biggie was one of the tightest rhyme spitters ever, but what he contributed to the game was more than just two and a half super hot albums, he was a leader for basically the resurgence of East Coast Hip Hop. He was also a big influence on not only rap style, as you can see with S.Carter, but everyday chilling style and gear as well, even though he made ugly ass Coogi sweaters hot, we won't hold that against u Big. Plus the reason Big is so cool with me is that he came along in a point in my life when, I know this is hard to believe for anyone who knows me, that my self esteem was shaken. He showed me that some quick wit and some confidence goes a long way. So I wanna end this blog with a quote from another song - "We'll always Love Big Poppa"

Holla at ya boy,

E.I.

You Gotta be Kidding Me (Post 1)

2005-03-10T22:26:00.000-08:00

What's good ya'll,

Since I've been chillin for the last week I decided to hit ya'll with some of that hotness. I decided to do something that Biggie has done, something that Jay-z has done, and something that Tupac has done numerous times. I'm gonna hit ya'll up with the double disc, or in this case the double blog. Let me know what ya'll think. Now on to buisness:

Today Micheal Jackson was late again to his trail. This time the judge had to threaten to revoke his bail and throw him in jail. Mike showed up an hour late in his pajamas. IN HIS DAMN PAJAMAS. Did I hear this right? This damn fool showed up in his pj's and an hour late, to court. Not to Mcdonalds, not to the premiere of Peter Pan, not even to the plastic surgeons, this man showed up late to a trail in which he is the defendant. You know what I thought about it and at first I was going to ask, "Is this fool crazy?" and "Has he lost his damn mind?" But nah I chilled back and thought about it, and I came up with this, Mike Jackson is THE SUPER GANGSTA of the music industy. I mean think about it, think of all the celebreties that have had legal issues. They come to court humble, in suits, seeking mercy from the jury. What does Mike do? Mike comes to court, an hour late for the second time, to a trail with a white judge, white jury, and accused of molesting a white boy, wearing his pajamas, and hittin them with that NWA mentality (you know "F*** the police"), forget 50 this dude is gangsta. I mean 50 talks trash about people from the block and other rappers. Mike is running around pissing off a bunch of white people, in Santa Maria, while he's on trial. My man Mike is like "Yo jail ain't got nothing that Joe ain't already hit me with, People running around talking like the King of Pop is soft, I'll do this bid come out and still sell 5 million records, b****es!!!!" All I can say is - Do your thang Mike, stay reppin Indiana, and stay on your grind homey."

E.I.

I've Been Tripping

2005-03-07T22:07:00.000-08:00

Yo what's good ya'll,

My bad but I've been tripping. I just noticed it's been a week since I posted. First off I've had mad school work and I've been going to the gym. You know Spring Break is coming up and I'm trying to look like the cover of the new 50 album. Aolt's been going on and I have some opinions.
So on to buisness:

Unless you've been under a rock you must have heard that the Micheal Jackson case has started. Is it just me or have alot of reporters gotten a little too buck with all the s*** they've been talking about Mike. I swear if there's one more wacko Jacko comment Joe Jackson should have the right to go down to the station and beat them like they left the towel in the pool. I've alos noticed that alot of people seem to already think he's guilty. Unless they drop a tape of Mike and a little boy with an award in the background I still have my doubts. Yes he's weird and, yes he has something way beyond issues, and yes he looks like a monster the Scooby Doo gang would chase for scaring people of Old man Johnson's apple farm, but this doesn't mean he's guilty. I mean who the hell would let themselves be molested by Micheal Jackson, seriously. He's like 27 pounds and he melts in the sunlight. A little advice Mike, don't talk in public without clearing it with a publicist, don't dance on the top of SUV's, don't dangle babies from balconies, and and just act normal for like 4 months and you'll be on tour in no time.

Oh yeah something just hit me, How the hell are you gonna storm neverland ranch? I mean is it just me or is the DA just trying to damn hard to lock Mike up? I mean it's Micheal Jackson. Do you really need dozens of cops and a SWAT team to bring in Micheal Jackson? Aint there some crack ya'll can be getting off the streets? But yo I'm tired and I'm fitting to go lay it down. Holla at ya folks.

E.I.

P.S. I'm watching the making of 50 Cent's house party and he's doing it right. If ya'll out there ever have a house party invite your neighbors. I mean thinka bout it how can you call the cops and complain about a party that you are either at or have been invited to. So no hatin neighbors equals no hatin ass Po Pos.

P.P.S. How the hell is Nick Cannon in the disco inferno video. I mean he's a main stay on Nickelodeon. How are u going to b on Nickelodeon at 8 and then on Uncut at 3 something just doesn't seem right about that but hey do your thang homey.

Ground Breaking News

2005-03-01T19:36:00.000-08:00

What's good ya'll I've got some ground breaking news. I know that this is a surprise but 50 Cent was linked to a shooting in New York. Yeah ya'll I was shocked. By keeping my ear to the street I got a link from my homey Squire to the Mtv News website where it said that 50 was on Hot 97 and said that he was kicking Game out of G-Unit for some comments he made on the station earlier in the day. Game had said that he was not going to ride with 50 on some of the people he talked about in his new song 'Piggy Bank'. Game then came up to the radio station with his entourage and tried to get into the station. At this time the interview was interrupted and then abruptly ended. Then shortly after that shots were fired and somebody who was not famous was shot in the leg.

After hearing this 2 thoughts came to mind. First I blame 50 for all of this. You can't fire somebody like that. I wish my boss would fire me over the radio. I would tear the place up too and I'm a college graduate, who owns an Alicia Keyes cd. So imagine how a Compton gang member would react. Second, there seems to be mad shootings out in front of the Hot 97 radio station. First Lil Kim's entorauge and now 50 and Game's. Forget Baghdad there needs to be military police in front of the radio station. And it's always somebody in the entorauge being shot. That's the world's most dangerous job, being in 50 Cent's crew. If I had a choice between going to Baghdad or being in 50's crew I would just be chilling in the desert. I mean if something happens to me over there my family gets some paper from the government. There's no injury or death payments if you're in 50 Cent's crew. The only thing you get if you get shot is maybe a hit of the weed and second dibs on the groupies. I mean what the hell do I look like taking a bullet for 50 like his secret service man or something. They must be out their damn mind. I've never been shot but I'm pretty sure that would mess up my day. Well that's all for today. I'm fFittin to go lay it down. Holla at ya folks and let me know what you think.

E.I.

E.I.

Now It's Time to Say Good Bye

2005-02-28T22:13:00.000-08:00

What's good my peoples,

Sorry for being on the chilly chill with the updates. But this weekend I was brushing my hair the whole time. The reason I was doing this was because of the 'Soldier' song. I was trying to get the "low cut cesar with the deep waves" why did I want the waves, it's simple so I could be "quick to snatch up your Beyonce' ". But it didn't work because I don't have that much patience. So my bad.

Today we must say good bye to Black History month and hello to White History rest of the year. Since this is the last day of Black History month I have decided to help out and do my part by educating the non black masses. If anyone else has any more tips or teachings for our non african americans please feel free to share in a post. Now onto buisness:

1. White Women, just because you sleep with black men does not mean you are down. Hence you are still not allowed to drop the N-bomb in mixed company. You will get beat up.

2. J-Lo, just because you dated Puffy and gave yourself a "street" nickname and have rappers in your video you are not down, You use $1,000 lotion on your face. You haven't been Jenny from the block since Selena came out so please stop saying you are.

3. Non African Americans, Just because I am not wearing a throw back jersey or the newest G-Unit sneakers, and I'm not up on the newest slang do not think you are more down than me. I have been stopped by a cop for "looking at him funny" and store clerks follow me around Macy's like ToTo followed Dorthy down the yellow brick road. I have a life time pass.

4. The Bachelor or the Bachelorette, we already know you're not going to pick the one black person so go ahead and cut the in the first cut so that they can go home and get back to work. By letting them hang around you're only taking money out of thier pockets and wasting more of thier time than watching 'Phat Beach'. Don't worry we will not think you're a racist for cutting them in the first round and I personally promise the NAACP and Al Sharpton will not picket on your front lawn.

5. To everyone, Racism still exists. Some people out there seem to think that racism no longer exists. Just because we can go to the same schools and drink from the same water foutnains doesn't mean racism is dead. It is still alive and we still have much farther to go.

6. To non African Americans, Please Please Please Please stop bitching about affirmative action. We were not allowed to read for 400 years that means you had a head start. Affirmative Action is not the slection commitee driving through the "hood" and picking the first 10 black people they see. These people are just as qualified if not more than you. If you didn't get picked chances are it's probably because you suck. So in this case don't hate the player and don't even hate the game just go find another school and go there and stop bitching.

Well I'm tired and I'm fittin to go lay it down. Let me know what you think. Don't be afraid to post something just click on the little link at the bottom of the article. Ok then my peeps holla at ya boy.

E.I.

What the Hell is Wrong With You?

2005-02-24T22:34:00.000-08:00

What's crackin my peoples?

I'm doing ok. I'm caught up with school work. I have a little money in my pocket. I'm doing alright. Life is good. So check it I'm in my good mood keeping my ear to the streets trying to hear what I can hear. And what do I hear? R.Kelly has a new song called 'Sex in the Kitchen'. For those of you who can't tell what the song is about let me help you. It's not about Stepping or Jesus. The song is straight. I mean it's a throw back to 12 Play. But then I started thinking, "Ain't this fool still on trial?" Yo this is to Robert. You cannot be making any freaky songs until your legal stuff straight. Dog until you can get a lawyer to explain the tape, and everyone knows what tape I'm talking about, your freaky pass is suspended. That means nothing but songs about Stepping and Jesus until further notice. And you have the audacity to go on tour with Jay-z and have the nerve to be wilding out on tour missing dates and stuff. Robert we've all seen the tape. I mean it's in Specs in the New DVD section between Brother Bear and Ray. And yes it is you, unless you have an identical cousin, that's your ass on the tape. Your lucky to be on tour and to have fans come out and watch your crazy ass, and you wanna be canceling shows and tripping over your lights during the show. Yo, you need to just go sit your ass down somewhere.
Well I'm fittin to go lay it down. Holla at ya folks.

Whoa Whoa Whoa wait a minute. I'm watching the last episode of 'Making the Band' when Puffy gives them fools the boot from Bad Boy. Yo that jaun was maaaaaaaadddddd funny. Puffy came into the meeting and shut it down, had everyone leaving the meeting like they was a little kid and he took thier cookie. I wonder how he's going to handle his new show with the all female group? It's going to be some good tv. Well that's it Now I'm fitting to go lay it down. Holla at ya folks.

E.I.
E.I.

I've been Trippin

2005-02-22T19:17:00.000-08:00

What's really good ya'll,

My bad yo, I've been trippin, I've been slackin on mackin. This is the first post of the week. I've got to make up for it so today I'm going to drop not one, not two, but three thoughts for today. There's been a lot going on and I've been lunching but don't trip I'm gonna keep my pimp hand strong. Now on to buisness:

1. Today I found out that Oprah Winfrey has made yet another movie and it will show sometime in March. The movie is called 'Thier Eyes were on the Lord' I think. I have one hope and one request for this movie - first the hope - I pray, actually I might go to church to pray for this AND pay collection just so ya'll know how serious I am, that Oprah lets the black people talk right in this movie. If ya'll peeped the other projects she's done black people have not been the most articulate characters in her movies. So please please please let us speak well in this movie lord please please please. - second the request - Halle Berry is in this movie. Oprah in your past movies we've seen what u can do to yourself. Please Please Please Please don't have Halle lookin like u be lookin in your movies. It ..... It just wouldn't be right. Make up on the set is not a bad thing.

2. The WB has a new show coming out called the Starlet. On this show young women try out thier acting skills in front of a panel who judge them just like they do on American Idol. One of these panelists is Vivica Foxx. To me she is like Paula Abdul on American Idol. How the hell can either of them have the audacity to comment on someone's acting or singing, they can't do either. Them criticizing someone's singing or acting is like Lindsey Lohan telling someone they ain't gangsta. How the hell are they qualified to judge someone's talent when they don't have any.?

1. I don't know if ya'll know but Paris Hilton's sidekick was hacked into. The hacker then put the contents of the sidekick on the internet. So everything she had on the sidekick is now on the net for everyone to see - Celebrities phone numbers (like Eminem, Lil John, and Vin Diesel), personal notes, family pics, naked pictures of her ..... naked pictures of her? Ok I've been called concieted numerous times and when I think about I am. But how concieted can u be to carry around naked pics of yourself in your phone. That's a whole new level of concietedness. And why does all of this stuff just happen to her? It seems like she's famous for being put on blast. She's no where near an A-list celebrity why does she stay getting caught out there? Personally if I was her I would just go and sit down somewhere and enjoy being rich.

Well that's all for night I'm fittin to go lay it down. Holla at ya boy if ya'll got anything to say, I'm always open to comments.

Holla at ya boy,

E.I.

Just Been Thinking

2005-02-17T23:29:00.000-08:00

What's really good ya'll,

Sorry I've been slipping for the past couple of days but I waited to the last minute to do a 2 week project and ya'll know how that goes. I don't have any big thoughts for today but I have a few little ones that have come to me in the past couple of days:

1. While watching the making of Jennifer Lopez's new video I see she has a nipple tweaker on her staff. MY question is this: a. What are the qualifications for this job? and b. Where do I put in an application? Since I'm ambidextrous I feel that I am doubly productive which makes me a perfect candidate for the position.

2. BET has offended me again, why is it that their late night commercials for the Girls Gone Wild tapes have nothing but blond haired blue eyed white girls and are being sold for 3 for 10. What exaclty are they trying to say? That black men can't resist white women and good sales.

3. If Lil John has mad guest artists on his songs and does all the producing what exactly do the EastSide Boys do?

4. If they got beat up by somebody's angry baby momma would Destiny's Child still want a soldier?

5. Or what if they had to hold something somewhere when the Popo came around would they still want one?

6. It seems the Puffy has a new boy band, B5, I wonder if they had to walk across New York to get him Cheesecake?

7. How Puffy gonna change his name to P.Diddy over a little shooting at a club? I mean if anybody need to change thier name it needs to be Bobby Brown. I suggest the name Defendant to make his public appearences easier. i.e. Will the Defendant please rise? How does the Defendant plea?

8. How are people offended by the Nelly TipDrill video? It comes on BET at 3 o'clock in the morning, If you're watching TV at 3 o'clock in the morning chances are you're not looking for the Saddam Hussein biography on A&E. Actually now that I think about it getting offended at a video on BET Uncut is like going to a strip club and getting offended by the nudity.

9. And While I'm thinking about it, What the hell is a TIPDRILL? I watched the video and listened to the song and I can't figure it out. I mean is it a verb, a noun, a prepositional phrase somebody let me know.

Well that's all for today I'm fittin to go lay it down holla at ya folks and as always keep it real for the streets and stay thuggin and huggin.

E.I.

More Holidays Needed

2005-02-14T22:36:00.000-08:00

What's really good ya'll,

Happy Valentines Day, a holiday made up strictly for commercial value. I love my mother, wife, girlfriend, jump off every day of the year. Why should I have to go the extra mile today just because everyone says so.

Ok now that I have gotten that out, on to buisness for today. As everyone knows this month is black history month. I feel that we as African Americans have provided this country with various figures that need to be recognized on a national scale. So I have decided to provide some suggestions for other black people who deserve holidays as well. Just as everyone is supposed to think about peace and equality on MLK day each of these holidays will have thier own set of guidlines in which to celebrate.

1. George Washington Carver day - On this day we will all celebrate the man's legend by eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and wearing cotton.

2. Madame CJ Walker day - In order to celebrate the inventor of the relaxer all women will get thier hair done on this day.

3. Garret A. Morgan day - On this day black people will have the right to run red lights since General Electric stole the idea from this great inventor at a horribly low price

4. I don't need this because my boss is cool but, Latrell Sprewell day - on this day all employees have the option of choking the hell out of thier ignorant ass boss.

5. Suge Knight day - On this day we go around and jack successful white people in order to start our companies which we will run extremely gangstaly.

6. This one could be a good replacement for Valentines day since this African American is the reason 9/10 of us are here, Barry White day - People will buy one the great singers albums and listen to it with that special someone, let what ever may happen happen.

7. Micheal Jackson Day - Anyone who has a court case on this day is allowed to show up 45 minutes late dressed up like a character off the front of a cereal box. After the court precedings one may jump on top of the nearest SUV and dance. Also feel free to get any plastic surgery you were plotting on done on this day.

8. Joe Jackson Day - On this holiday parents across the country will have the opportunity to beat thier kids just for the gp of it. You know to get them for anything that they might have gotten away with.

9. To complete the trilogy, Janet Jackson Day - All women will have the opportunity to expose themselves in public, old women, young women, skinny women, large women, if you have them set them free.

10. Whitney and Bobby Brown day - On this day we get to act a damn fool in public. We may also get to yell out utterly false statements to the public i.e. "I just won the lottery", "I'm dating Alicia Keyes", "I don't smoke crack", and my favorite, "Bobby Brown is the king of R&B"

11. Yung Buk Day - On this day people get to shank anyone who might have some type of beef with anyone in thier crew.

12. P-Diddy Day - On this day people will wear shiny suits, dance around, act all depressed over big booty hsipanic women, and if they happen to be a boss make thier employess walk across town to get them cheesecake.

13. Iceberg Slim Day - On this day all pimps will get to double thier plrices in memory of the Ice Cold Pimp himself Mr. Iceberg Slim

14. Nelly Day - On this day we will travel to various super crunk strip clubs in order to locate the perfect "Tipdrill"

And to end on a positive note:

15. Hewey P. Newton Day - On this day we will honor the founder of the black panthers by volunteering through out our community, educating our youth, and marching and protesting against police brutality and racial profiling.

Well I have to go lay it down now but if ya'll have any other suggestions for holidays to honor famous or infamous African Americans just holla at ya folks.

E.I.

Another List

2005-02-10T23:00:00.000-08:00

What's really good ya'll,

Tonight I went and got the Malcolm X box set like I said I was going to do yesterday. As I watched this great movie I felt something. I felt angry like I wanted to go out and beat up white people. After calming down and thinking about it I noticed that numerous movies also made me feel this way. I decided to e comprised a list of movies that get white people beat up:

9, 8, 7. Rocky I - III - Now these movies don't make black people angry. But what they do do is give some white people the crazy notion that if they have heart they can beat up any black person. This sudden bout of courage has led to numerous white males getting beat up in movie theatres across the nation throughout the 80's.

6. Do the Right Thing - I mean first how you gonna have a pizzeria in the hood and not have any black people on your wall of fame. Second how are you just gonna smash Radio Raheem's Radio like that and then finally how the cops just gonna choke him like that. I was hella mad at the end of this movie.

5. Malcolm X - The speeches were so powerful and Denzel was so convincing I was just getting super angry and I found myself shouting and agreeing with the movie. I was definately very upset at the end of the movie.

4. Amistad - How the hell are you going to just fight over these people like they're some type property or something. All of this after they kidnapped them from thier country. This inspired the kind of anger that raises blood pressures

3. Roots - Do I have to even say anything about this? The part with them telling him his name is enough to get somebody's ass kicked.

2. Rosewood - Based on a true story, a white woman lied and said she was raped by a black man and this led to the town of Rosewood, FL being destroyed. They destroyed a whole black town!!!! Not only can this movie lead to white people getting beat up it can lead to someone getting shot.

1. Eyes on the Prize - Emmitt Till

Black History Moment

2005-02-09T21:00:00.000-08:00

What's good ya'll,

Let me tell ya'll bout yesterday. I went to the movie store, the one with windows, to go and cop me a copy of the Dave Chappelle Show Season 2. Ya'll should have seen me I was like a kid on christmas. But there was no joy and jollyness when I got to the store. They informed me that the DVD was pushed back to sometime in May. I was hurt ya'll. But then today I was chilling and something even better came out this week. The Malcolm X DVD box set. So best believe I'm going to the store tomorrow to get me a copy. That brings me to the buisness for today:

As ya'll know this is Black History month. So I feel the need to present how I feel about about my history. I feel that we need to start doing something for Malcolm X like we do for Martin Luther King. Now by saying this I am not detracting from Martin's legacy in fact we needed both of them to make the strides we did. On one side we had Martin utilizing love and non-violence to build a bridge between the races. On the other side we had Malcolm giving us our pride and dignity so we could walk across that bridge with our heads up. That is the overlooked importance of Malcolm, after him there was no more "Yessa sir" or "Yessa ma'am". After him white men would no longer get away with calling us 'boy'. Through his work he allowed us to reclaim the pride and dignity we had as kings and queens in Africa and cast aside the self-hatred and low self-esteem dictated to us as slaves. The Emancipation Proclomation may have stopped whites from counting us as 3/5 of a person but we didn't get the other 2/5 until Malcolm came along and gave us our pride back and forced them to give us our due respect. For this we need to celebrate and honor his life as we do with Martin.

Well that's all for tonight, I'm fittin to go lay it down. Holla at ya boy.

E.I.

V - Day Wish List

2005-02-07T22:34:00.000-08:00

What's really good ya'll. I'm just thuggin and hugging doing my thing. Now I've been looking around and there seems to be alot of questions from women on what to get thier guy fromValentine's Day. This is a very easy task and I have decided to do a list of things men want for Valentines Day:

5. A dvd box set: This is a safe and easy gift for any guy. There are mad box set's already out but most importantly The Dave Chappelle Show: Season 2. What says I love you more than, "I'm Rick James B***h!!!!".

4. Some nice alcohol: Get him some top shelf stuff: Top Shelf is a literal term, if you found the bottle on a shelf below waist height it is CHEAP!!!! You can probably use it to start your car, and chances are, it'll make everyone sick.

3. Take him out to dinner. Nothing's cooler than going out to dinner and having her pay. It makes us feel special.

2. Some tickets to a sporting event: Men like sports, if you get us some tickets to watch sports in person we will love you. How can't you love the girl who got you tickets to the Cavaliers - Heat game.

1. Sex. This is like getting cash on christmas. Yeah you might have wanted something else but you ain't turning down cash. Just make all about us for the night. Go to one of those video stores with no windows and get a movie you like. Then just do whatever the girl on the cover does.

I hope these ideas help ya'll out this Valentine's Day. If you have any other suggestions please feel free to post them. Holla at ya boy!!!

E.I.

You got Beef???

2005-02-06T11:23:00.000-08:00

A response to my last post wrote:

You ever wonder how you can tell a lot about a person just bythe shows he/she watches? For instance if you watch:

morning talk shows - such as Live with Regis, or Larry Elder you have a job but its only part time and you dont have to be in until noon.

soap operas - your either a lazy housewife or are home on disability and comtenplating how u can sue your employeer with a frivolous lawsuit. You got the idea after watching the Yankowitz lawfirm commercials that they air during these shows.

Sleaze TV - such as Jerry Springer and Maury, your a recent college grad that majored in liberal studies but was unable to find a job. You are living at home with your mother who is not home cuz she has a real job.

Old Sitcoms - such as the Happy Days, MASH, and Three's Company. Your a single parent in the late 20's early 30's who's kids are at school. You remember these shows on primetime when you were a kid. You will be leaving soon to pick ur youngest up from day care.

Court Room Dramas - ur a senior citizen that has long retired from the work force. Its about 3 in the afternoon so ur finna wind it down for the day as u prepare supper. Dont forget your medication.

Pop Culture - such as music videos, Real World, and yes BLIND DATE. Ur a bad driving, Peyton Manning jock riding, fried bologna sammich eatin, daily blog writing, strip club hoping, 'Eminem is the best rapper alive' thinkin, Rubin Studdard looking, has-been high school wrestler, from New Jersey that now attends grad school in miami.

Now my response: I know who wrote this and I am less mad than shocked. I didn't think this person had the cleverness in them to come up with a pretty good shot at me, but they did. I know I usually don't post during the weekends but, I felt the need to say something. But since it is a known fact am I more clever than my attacker it would be unfair of me to say anything about this person. So instead I have come up with a list of quotes in order to summarize how I feel.

1. "Comparing you to me is like Sprint, Mottorolla no service out of your range." - Nelly, Number One

2. "A wise man told me don't argue with fools, cause people from a distance can't tell who is who. So stop with that childish s**t, I'm grown, please leave me alone, stop throwin rocks at the thrown." - Jay-Z, take over

3. "You's a pop - tart sweetheart, you soft in the middle. I eat you for breakfast" - 50 Cent, Back Down

Since I'm an 'Eminem's the best rapper thinkin':
4. "So I see I have to start, showin you old farts a whole other side. I wanted to not show you so you know you not dealin with some f***ing marshmellow whose hearts yellow." - Eminem, Dont Push Me

And you can't talk about beef without some Pac:
5. "Who shot me but you punks didn't finish, now you bout to feel the wrath of a menace, I Hit'em up." - Tupac, Hit'em Up

Ohh yeah some advice for the future:
"I mean, I don't take shots at legends. That's something that you just don't do" - Game, The Documentary

And finally in case you think about coming at me again, remember:
"Repeat after me, there's only one rule, I WILL NOT LOSE!!!!!!" - Jay-Z, Change the Game

Can You Be Down?

2005-02-02T21:59:00.000-08:00

What's really good ya'll,

I'm chillin, you know doing the school thing. Sorry for not posting last night but Backstage, the movie about the hard knock life tour, was on and I was distracted. But for real for real Dame Dash was dropping some real knowledge when he was on there. He was talking about when you get rich you have to get your crew rich too. You do this and ya'll can't be beat, since everyone rich you don't have to worry about people hating, or setting you up, or anything else. I really feel that Dame. On to buisness today I got to watch Blind Date while chilling..... ummm uhhh I mean while i was studying and working yeah that's it. You know what i'm really glad shows like these exist. They serve two purposes. One one hand they keep us entertained with their crazy participants, and is it just me or does the person who be writing the comments at the bottom be putting thier thing down. But the main purpose these shows serve is not to entertain but to protect us.

Yes shows like Blind Date protect us by placing the most dysfunctional and crazy people they can find with each other on tv. This serves two purposes, on one hand it keeps these people dating each other and out of the general dating populace, Thank you Blind Date. This also acts like America's Most Wanted. When I'm walking down the street, or chilling in the bar, or doing the running man up in the club I can spot a female look at her and think to myself, "Wait a minute, didn't I see her crazy ass on Blind Date, you she was spazzing on dude let me avoid her." Same goes for women too. A women can be like " Yo, that's the guy who bought his dog on a blind date and lives with his mom, that mofo has issues." So keep doing your thing Blind Date, we applaud and respect your efforts. Well I'm fittin to go lay it down, Holla at ya boy.

E.I.

Couldn't Be Me

2005-01-31T22:11:00.000-08:00

Yo what's really good ya'll,

Just like I promised I'm back with the second post of the night. This is something I've been thinking about for a minute and it just came back to me. Well let me know what ya'll think:

I read somewhere that China is facing a oncoming problem. In the near future the balance of genders will be greatly altered. This is due to the past practices and laws limiting Chinese families to only one child. Since most families want a boy the usually end up getting rid of the girls. This practice has lead to there being roughly 4 men to every women. I don't know about ya'll but this looks like a serious problem to me.

Now the way I see it I understand that China is a communist country. I feel that you can take my food I will survive the hunger. You can take my money and spread it throughout the country or just give it to the greedy politicians, I mean fine I can deal with the poverty. I mean you can even take my freedom of speech and everything else I'll live with the oppression. But you're going to tell me that I have to put up with all of this mess and I can't get NO lovin!!!!! They must be out they damn mind. I'm saying it couldn't be me. If I was over there I would do everything I could to bring down the government. I mean I would be like a Chinese Huey Newton or Malcolm X. Actually now that I think about it I would be more like a Chinese Nat Turner if I had to deal with all of that poverty, hunger, and oppression with out my ride or die chick, or at least a decent lookin chicken head. I mean damn 4 men to every woman that means all of the parties suck, the strip clubs are probably horrible, and with odds like that you can't even go to church to meet a good woman. I repeat COULDN'T BE ME.

Well I'm tired, off to bed I go. Let me know what ya'll think keep the posts coming and spread the word. I think if I get enough people I can get some advertisers to start hooking me up. So as my man DMX would say - "Stop bein greedy, pass the link partner give to needy."

E.I.

If it Had Been Me

2005-01-31T16:43:00.000-08:00

What really good ya'll,

I meant to post something last night but I had school work to get done and I forgot cause I was working so hard... Ok I lied the truth is the making of the 50 Cent "Candy Shop" video came on and one girl was pouring chocolate on another and I forgot what I was supposed to be doing. So tonight I will be posting twice to make for last night. Yo if you like what I'm posting go on and tell your friends I appreciate the attention it feeds my Fat Joe sized ego. Now on to buisness:

Some of you might be aware that the elections actually happened in Iraq. I would love to personally like to start a pool for how long this guy's president before some pops a cap in his ass. I'm betting 2 weeks. But while pondering this I couldn't help but to think what if I was that sucker... I mean brave Iraqi patriot, how would I handle this situation? I came up with just a few things that I would do if I were in his place.

1. My inaugaration party would be nothing like Bush's with thousands of people and limos and partying. My inaugaration party would be secret, on the DL, hidden. My inaugaration would have less witnesses then people who watched the last episode of 'Homeboys in Outer Space.'

2. There would be no press conferences where I am actually present. I would be just like Shine and do my interviews over a pay phone from a secure location.

3. Oh yeah that riding down the street in a cadillac, you can forget that we all know what happened to Kennedy and we're American, and we liked him. Imagine what they would do to me if I pulled some stupid stunt like that. Actually now that I think about it all of the car bombings, that whole driving anything down the street is a dumb idea.

4. Only people in the highest econmic class in Iraq will ever be allowed to see me in person. I don't know if you noticed but rich people are a lot less likely to be suicide bombers.

5. Since everyone seems to think that us black people look alike I will have another black man enter all rooms before me. You as a decoy.

6. Finally I would hire 50 Cent and G-Unit to be the heads of my security. I mean did ya'll see the way they handled that Dre situation at the Vibe Awards. My man young Buck straight shanked him. That's what I'm talking about my secuirty force will be gangsta, G-G-G- G Unit!!!

Well that's it for now, I'll be back later tonight to hit ya'll with my second post. If you have anymore suggestions holla at ya boy.

E.I.

What in da hell

2005-01-27T22:06:00.000-08:00

What's good with ya'll,

I'm appreciating the posts ya'll hittn me up with, keep them coming. Now on to the thought of the day: Today I heard some crazy ass news. I heard Bill Cosby is under investigation for fondling a Toronto woman in his Philadelphia home. Yes ya'll that Bill Cosby, The coach from White Shadow, Heathcliff Huxstable, Leonard Part 6, the voice of Fat Albert, the damn guy who sells Jello Pudding pops. When I heard this the title of today's thought came into my mind. What in da Hell !!?! The story goes on to say that the two of them had dinner with mutual friends and then the Cos invited the woman back to his house and then gave her pills which made her dizzy and fondled her. Who in da hell gets drugged by Bill Cosby.

C'mon ya'll this is Bill Cosby. Say it with me ya'll B-I-L-L C-O-S-B-Y. I swear this is the craziest s*** I've heard since Micheal said it's ok for little boys to sleep in the bed with a grown ass man or when Whitney called Bobby Brown the king of R&B. He might be an angry old man who talks bad about us younger black people but everyone knows damn well the only thing he's fondled in the last 15 years are Jello Pudding Pops. I hope they don't take this foolishness to some court and have it all drawn out distracting us from important stuff like the economy, the war, the Iraqi election, or the release date for the new 50 Cent album. I mean this case can be settled in one episode of Judge Joe Brown, with the two commercial breaks and the post court interviews. Bill Cosby fondling someone ain't that some bulls***. Well I'm fittin to lay it down keep the posts coming. Holla at ya boy.

E.I.

Why'd You Go Out Like a Punk?

2005-01-26T22:04:00.000-08:00

What's good ya'll,

To all of you out there reading my blog, good looking and thanks for the love make sure if you like it you pass along to everyone else. I have a big ego and I appreciate all of the attention. Ok, now that the overhead is done on to my thought for today: If you happened to be watching MTV anytime today you probably heard about Irv Gotti from Murder Inc. pleading not guilty to drug laundering charges. After pleading not guilty to these charges Irv had this to say to the media,

"I'm gonna give you guys one comment. I want to make it very crystal clear that I don't look [badly] at the government in any way, shape or form for them thinking I'm doing anything wrong. I call myself Gotti, I made my label Murder Inc., I grew up poor, from the street. But I don't look bad at them for thinking ill things of me. In no way have I done anything wrong except make great music that people seem to love. That's all I'm guilty of."

Now to me this sounds like something a punk would say. Something you would only say if you were guilty. But he pleaded innocent which means he doesn't want to look guilty. When I look back to other prominent figures who did nothing wrong in thier cases they took an aggressive stand against the injustice they were being subjected to, they weren't like "Oh I rap about things I see on the streets and name myself after gangstas so The Government is right for messing with me, I'm sorry Mr. Government I'm only a poor negro trying to make music that other poor negroes will listen to, please be nice to me." Actually when I think of situations like this Tupac comes to mind. I remember watching one interview after one of his court cases when he came out and said sarcastically, "Thanks America for making it possible for me to get a fair trial and recieve justice" while laughing and winking at the camera. That's how you be a gangsta about yours. My Pops always told me, "When you're wrong stand up like a man say you're wrong, But when you're right stand up just as tall and say I'm right, I know I'm right, and ya'll can't tell me I'm wrong, don't ever let anybody tell you wrong when you're right."

Now c'mon Irv if you innocent you should have came out like " Man F*** this, they only hatin on me cause I'm a poor black man from the hood who came from nothing and they wanna take me down for that. They tried to do it to Kobe, Micheal, Snoop Dogg, Tupac and now me. They on some bull****. I mean look at it they had the FBI, post office, IRS, Bureau of Alchol, Tobacco, and Firearms, and police in New York and Baltimore, Dudley Do-Right, and Inspector Gadget all investigating my record company. Shouldn't ya'll be out there looking for Osama Bin Laden or something, I mean damn I drop mixtapes talking about 50 Cent but he makes mixtapes talking about blowing s*** up and ya'll gonna come after me cause one of my stock holders happens to have a questionable past, Ya'll some b****** for that."

But naw he decided to come out all scary like, c'mon home Why'd you go out like a punk? Well that's it for today I'm fittin to go lay it down so holla at ya boy and let me know you're opinion on this and remember if you like what you read give out to your peoples and put them on game. "C'mon stop being greedy, pass the plate patna, give to the needy" as my homey DMX would say. Anyway holla at ya boy.

E.I.

Beat to Super Stardom

2005-01-25T22:43:00.000-08:00

What's up ya'll,

I'm appreciating the posts keep them coming. I thought of this next thought while watching VH1. I saw a commercial about a show on Micheal Jackson's childhood. They were talking about the abuse his father supposedly did to him when he was younger. In case ya'll didn't know he is a multi millionaire and world wide star. I just have one thing to say, "Micheal despite what your skin color is now YOU ARE BLACK!!!!!!!!" Black Parents beat their children. We all got beat from our parents and we aren't famous so take the good with the bad and get over it. MY mother hit me with a cast iron pan, wiffle bat, comb, a switch, or whetever else she could grab when I did something, and I don't have nan nutter gold album to show for it. Yeah I was mad when I was younger but when I look back at it, my parents aint beat me enough. Actually now that I think about it next time I go home I might have them beat me. I'm not trying to be greedy so they can just beat me until I have good credit and that will surfice. I'm just saying I'm not sure what exactly went on with you and Joseph but damn homey forget the neverland ranch and sleepovers with pre-adolescents in a crazy ass attempt to regain your childhood. You're 43 dammit!!! Get some friends your own age and drink "magic juice" with them. Yo homey use some of that money and get your ass some therapy. There are plenty of psycologists out there more than willing to help you out. Oh and while I have your attention Mike stop with the nose, I understand the reason for the first couple of nose jobs, cause I seen the early pictures and your nostrils were bigger than Biggie Smalls, but stop it, you just look crazy now, like one of those green aliens that everyone wears on t-shirts. Well that's it for today I'm fittin to go to bed, so please feel free to let me know what you think about this and again I appreciate the posts keep hollerin at ya boy.

E.I.

Movie Lands Worst Villian

2005-01-24T21:20:00.000-08:00

Hey What's up Ya'll,

Sorry for the delay on the postings but I have a good excuse. I was sitting in the crib this weekend watching that B2K movie "You Got Served" I attempted to do one of those super tight slow mo matrix head spins I saw them do in the movie and I busted my ass numerous times hence delaying the posting, My Bad Ya'll. But I learned a valuable lesson, do not do head spins in a little ass apartment if you are not a professional, you will break your ish and bust your ass. Ok then now that that's out of the way on to the thought of the day.

I thought hard of who's movie lands super hardest, baddest villian and after much thought I narrowed it down to 2 people. On one hand we have Tony Montana, a.k.a Scarface, I mean this man has been the role model for many a thugged out drug dealer and rapper, he shot up like 1000 Columbian mercanaries in the best death scene ever, and he had the Miami coke scence on lock. On the other hand we have Bishop from Juice, He robbed the local corner store, beefed with the rival gang of Peurto Ricans, and shot two thirds of his crew and tried to kill his other homey in a crowded elevator. After much deliberation I have come to the conclusion of the baddest villian. I know some of ya'll might disagree but that's why there's a posting board where you can post your disagreements however wrong they may be. But the baddest villian in movie land is hands down Bishop. I have two very good points for this arguement, First let's look at the actors who did the movies. On one side we have Al Pacino on the other Tupac Shakur. Al did a great job and he bought Tony to life but we knew that that wasn't Al's real life he was acting and Tony was not for real. But when my man Pac came out in Juice we swore up and down that that was him for real. We thought that was Pac being Pac not Pac acting which kinda made Bishop a real character. MY second point is this, what happened in Scarface when Tony killed his best friend, he was sitting in his office hella depressed and sad sniffing a mound of coke bigger than Gary Coleman in '83. What was Bishop doing after he killed his best friend? He was at the funeral hugging the boy's mama talking about "He was like a brother I never had" in front of the same friends who just watched him shoot him. Now if that ain't gangsta I don't know what is. If he ain't the type of person you don't want to see in a dark alley I don't know who is. Well that's the end for tonight. Please feel free to post your comments and suggestions I'll greatly appreciate it. Until next time, Stay Thuggin and Huggin and keep it real for the streets.

My First Post

2005-01-20T18:07:00.000-08:00

After almost a year of presenting my daily knowledge to both friends and family I have decided to expand my horizons and provide the world with a posting of my quick wit and brilliant humor with a touch of ignorance. These are my opinions and views and i by no means consider myself an expert in any field just a regular person with an opinion. Well now that I got the introduction and disclaimer out of the way on to today's thought - I feel that we as African Americans need to put aside our petty differences and unite against a common threat to our people and our image to other races. I feel this threat is one of the largest we have ever seen in recent history. This threat is the BET Starz! channel and BET's Black Star Power movies. Has anyone ever seen these movies? My god these channels have the worst catalog of movies in existence I mean c'mon ya'll Prison Song. How dare they have to nerve to shoot a movie with Q-tip, or Kwabal or whatever the hell he's calling himself these days after his Breathe and Stop fame has passed, and Mary J. Blige as the main characters? What the hell is that? Oh and BET Starz! is just an even bigger collection of BAD movies, Phat Beach, Malibooty, Black College Spring Break, Gigli. Yeah that's right Gigli that movie with Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, I refuse to respect her attempts to be "down" by calling her J-Lo. Not only is that a bad movie but there aren't even black people in it I guessed they figured since Jennifer has a fattie black men will watch it anyway. My people we need to do something about this and make these channels live up to some standard and play some type of quality movies I know they're few and far between but there are some good black movies out there. Whew!!!! Well that's all for today please post some responses and tell me what you think. Bye for now.